The Untogetherness of Family

Well, the big holiday is over and once again we reflect on its pure unadulterated madness. It's better to see it for what it is...insanity. But at least I didn't spend it with MY family. So I had a good time with the girl's family. In the quest to have one's family accept them for whom he/she is, I guess we must do the same in return. But I am truly puzzled by the complexities.

After going back to work and here it is, almost the weekend again....I am reminded that there are so many similarities between families of the developmentally disabled and families of those of us that trip the gay light fantastic. People don't like someone who is different, especially in a family. Many of the clients I've worked with over the years, their family has dumped them off never to be heard from again. Mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers. That's why when you see someone whose family is really involved, it's very heartwarming. But then, there are those families who are involved for unpure and hateful reasons. It's better they stay away. The emotional turmoil they cause their so-called loved one is horrendous. Many of them are used for money they get from the government(don't get me started on THAT, either), which is small to begin with. There is a client of mine whose family has not been involved with him for 5 years and then comes back and tries to dictate what happens in his life. Then promises to help him with things and never follows through. All he knows is they are paying him an interest..he doesn't care what the reasons. They do not accept him as him and get mad at him when his disabilities show through. That's him. Accepting someone regardless and loving them no matter what shouldn't be such a tall order for a family. I've gone through this myself with my mother and my family. I've accepted that she does not want any part of me or my life....or even my daughter's life, her only grandchild that will ever be born. She has her reasons and that's why when I see people waste precious time being mean, unforgiving or just neglectful it makes my blood boil. In the grand scheme of things, we are on this earth so little. But accepting the good in people also means accepting the bad.

And I hate the word TOLERANCE. Straight people use it constantly about the gay community. If you break it down, it's like..."I am just tolerating you." I want to be accepted like anyone else, not just tolerated. We are all human...although I wonder about our current president.....