I remember last year when Iowa made it LEGAL for gays and lesbians to marry, I was amazed, shocked and glorified. Of course, I was skeptical because I knew what power the hate mongers have. I knew at some point, Iowa would let me down.
Now, it's not even Iowa that has let me down, it's the people.
I realize that in these times, America has been lost and most likely will not return. Recently, with all of the political signs taking over people's yards, I saw one that I didn't understand. "SAY NO TO ACTIVIST JUDGES". Not realizing what it was about, I went about my business. To my horror, I saw a news piece stating that there were groups forming to try to rid the Iowa Supreme Court of the judges that made the historical decision 1 year ago. WHAT? I could not believe the new low the religious so called "morality" groups have sunk to. Public opinion should never dictate law. That is WHY there are judges, to be impartial and make decisions(here it comes...) BASED ON THE LAW. So every time we disagree with a decision, judges should be cast out? It's so aggravating, it's hard to put into words.
So I have a question for the so-called moral people and STRAIGHT folks. How would you feel if:
Court decision came down that 1) you were not allowed to marry the person you love and had to hide all that you are to your family, your employer and your government 2) You could NOT have any children because there are too many children in this country that cannot be supported(hello DUGGAR family) 3) you cannot serve your country and protect it, because only GAYS can be in the military
Oh gosh, you are a minority! But us as GAYS can beat you up, kill you ONLY because you are different, essentially because you are straight. Oh yes, you have CHOSEN to be straight and can change with the help of God.
I am ranting, it's true. But I know it's worth ranting about. I really thought Obama was going to do good things, but now I realize he is not and has no real intentions of fixing DADT or DOMA. How sad it's the courts that are doing right and our own president is doing wrong by doing nothing.
Welcome to AMERICA.
Rant over til next time :-)
oh yah I am getting married BEFORE it's all over!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
DO ask and DO Tell
How do you tell someone "don't tell us about your personal life" when they have to listen time and time again about everyone else's personal life? Straight folks do not understand this and never will, through no fault of their own(mostly). I, like most gays and lesbians, have gone through this in the past. Having to hear nasty horrid stories from straight women about their sexual escapades in a work situation. How is that ok? This whole issue...down to gay marriage has NOTHING to do with religion. It has to do with basic human rights. Are we not ALL human?
I do understand people having different views. My journalism teacher in high school used to say "Opinions are like butts, everybody's got one." I think in today's times, people forget about opinions and expect people to apologize for their own opinion. You shouldn't have to apologize for an opinion OR for who you are. We don't expect straight people to be ashamed of who they are or who they love.
Now that it's another anniversary of September 11, it's really PAST time to make things right for all of the military families that are having to go back in the closet and pretend they are honest and truthful for the sake of America. For the military to say that there will be trouble from gays and lesbians in the ranks is ludicrous and part of the homophobia that is so rampant. But why?
I also am reminded about other groups that have been murdered and beaten for the sake of the majority...blacks and native americans. Gee, when are we going to think of each other as human beings here for the same purpose?
I don't expect the repeal of DADT(don't ask don't tell) to pass because the military morons will always find a reason. It is being sabatoged now with a bogus survey that is biased and discriminatory.
But if you ask me, I'll tell you...
Yah I'm gay and I'm glad
I do understand people having different views. My journalism teacher in high school used to say "Opinions are like butts, everybody's got one." I think in today's times, people forget about opinions and expect people to apologize for their own opinion. You shouldn't have to apologize for an opinion OR for who you are. We don't expect straight people to be ashamed of who they are or who they love.
Now that it's another anniversary of September 11, it's really PAST time to make things right for all of the military families that are having to go back in the closet and pretend they are honest and truthful for the sake of America. For the military to say that there will be trouble from gays and lesbians in the ranks is ludicrous and part of the homophobia that is so rampant. But why?
I also am reminded about other groups that have been murdered and beaten for the sake of the majority...blacks and native americans. Gee, when are we going to think of each other as human beings here for the same purpose?
I don't expect the repeal of DADT(don't ask don't tell) to pass because the military morons will always find a reason. It is being sabatoged now with a bogus survey that is biased and discriminatory.
But if you ask me, I'll tell you...
Yah I'm gay and I'm glad
Sunday, September 05, 2010
Unanswered Prayers
It's "Reflective Sunday"....so I must reflect on how my life as a gay woman began over 17 years ago. Unlike others, I never had an inkling that I was gay...though to others, the signs were always there. So yes, I was a late bloomer. All these years later, I understand myself and my struggles so much better.
This past weekend, I saw the woman who started my journey all those years ago. Her name is Teri and I found her again on Facebook. Every once and awhile, I would put her name into the search engine and didn't find anything, but in late January, I found her. It took awhile for her to "friend" me and I feared she didn't want to and I wrote to her to explain what an impact she had on my life...and she did. So she did "friend" me and it was wonderful talking with her again and re-living those times. It was odd to me that she was now with a man and had been for quite some time. How does that happen? I do recall that at the time, she didn't really identify herself as a lesbian, just "in a relationship with another woman". Now I understand what a cop out that is. If you don't identify yourself, you don't have to nail yourself down. I understand it in a way, but for me, realizing that I was gay and that was the reason I never fell in love with a man or even want what I was always told I should want, was life-altering. Straight people do not understand this and never will. They do not have to come to terms with being who they are like gay people do. Let's face it, it IS easier to live life as a straight person. It wasn't easier for me, though I tried to even after Teri, thinking I could be a good enough actress to pull it off. I know lots of people do this every day. Not me.
So Teri was going to be in Iowa this Labor Day weekend and she wanted to see me. Oh I wanted to see her and Friday I saw her. We hugged and talked. Brittany went with me. She didn't remember Teri, as she was only 3. I met Teri's "hubby" as she called him, though they are not married. Very nice man and they appeared to be quite happy with each other. I was struck remembering her in my life when she was my whole world. Teri was mentally ill (anyone can read some of my earlier posts from way back to get the story) and just didn't see me often, unless she wanted something and I was so engrossed in her that I gave her everything. What I wanted most was her time and she couldn't give it to me. We never really had a relationship, but what little we had stayed with me always.
So I am reminded of the Garth Brooks song "Unanswered Prayers". The hours and days I spent wishing, hoping and praying I could be with her always...they never came true and things happened that I didn't understand. I was devastated beyond belief, devastated to my very core. For the first time ever in my life, I had a broken heart. After seeing her this weekend, I'm reminded what I have at home. SO grateful that it never worked out because I would not have Cindy and the wonderful life I have. And I am sure, for her too.
I am convinced people cross your path for a reason, even if they don't stay in your life. Teri served her purpose...to show me the truth I had buried deep inside that I never knew existed. So for that, I am forever grateful.
This past weekend, I saw the woman who started my journey all those years ago. Her name is Teri and I found her again on Facebook. Every once and awhile, I would put her name into the search engine and didn't find anything, but in late January, I found her. It took awhile for her to "friend" me and I feared she didn't want to and I wrote to her to explain what an impact she had on my life...and she did. So she did "friend" me and it was wonderful talking with her again and re-living those times. It was odd to me that she was now with a man and had been for quite some time. How does that happen? I do recall that at the time, she didn't really identify herself as a lesbian, just "in a relationship with another woman". Now I understand what a cop out that is. If you don't identify yourself, you don't have to nail yourself down. I understand it in a way, but for me, realizing that I was gay and that was the reason I never fell in love with a man or even want what I was always told I should want, was life-altering. Straight people do not understand this and never will. They do not have to come to terms with being who they are like gay people do. Let's face it, it IS easier to live life as a straight person. It wasn't easier for me, though I tried to even after Teri, thinking I could be a good enough actress to pull it off. I know lots of people do this every day. Not me.
So Teri was going to be in Iowa this Labor Day weekend and she wanted to see me. Oh I wanted to see her and Friday I saw her. We hugged and talked. Brittany went with me. She didn't remember Teri, as she was only 3. I met Teri's "hubby" as she called him, though they are not married. Very nice man and they appeared to be quite happy with each other. I was struck remembering her in my life when she was my whole world. Teri was mentally ill (anyone can read some of my earlier posts from way back to get the story) and just didn't see me often, unless she wanted something and I was so engrossed in her that I gave her everything. What I wanted most was her time and she couldn't give it to me. We never really had a relationship, but what little we had stayed with me always.
So I am reminded of the Garth Brooks song "Unanswered Prayers". The hours and days I spent wishing, hoping and praying I could be with her always...they never came true and things happened that I didn't understand. I was devastated beyond belief, devastated to my very core. For the first time ever in my life, I had a broken heart. After seeing her this weekend, I'm reminded what I have at home. SO grateful that it never worked out because I would not have Cindy and the wonderful life I have. And I am sure, for her too.
I am convinced people cross your path for a reason, even if they don't stay in your life. Teri served her purpose...to show me the truth I had buried deep inside that I never knew existed. So for that, I am forever grateful.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
It's Just a WORD
Maybe.
I absolutely LOVE words. Never have I learned this lesson more as when working with my clients. Many times, they take things literally and you are thrown for a loop to come up with something they would understand.
I've thought about words recently in light of the political climate today and more specifically, in regards to Dr. Laura. Granted, I think she is a horrid judgmental woman with an ax to grind. Her use of the "N-word" was pretty disgusting and now I see where she is quitting so "I can say what I want". Really? Thought you did that already. She claims freedom of speech...blah blah blah. Is it freedom of speech to incite hatred and your sense of disgust? It is one thing to speak your opinion but yet another to be so irresponsible that you do not care about the consequences for what you say. I remember when she said that gays were a "biological error". Reeeeaaalllly. Who is she to say what God intended?
It does bring up a powerful argument, however appalling. There are a few words to describe a class of people(minorities) that are equally as disgusting. I think the problem is(as Ms L---I don't give her the distinction of Drhood--alluded to in her rant) that black people call themselves the N-word and hey, shouldn't it be okay for others to call them that too? I guess you'd think so under this argument. I feel this way about other words: "retard", "fag", "Dyke" . The same argument can apply. I am guilty of using "dyke" about myself because in my world it is a positive word. The more I've thought of this debate, the more I realize...if we want others to stop using these words, we as a group (gays, blacks, etc) need to stop using them within our own world. Everyone around me knows I HATE the word "retard"...yet I hear many teenagers and young people using it. If you stop someone from saying it around you, they will have to search for a new word. Like "that's kinda gay". Hell, I've been guilty of that because there are times, let's face it, it fits.
I think it's up to us to change within ourselves before we can expect others to take that step.
Oh yah...and that word TOLERANCE. I hate that too...to me, it means 'I'm just putting up with you because I'm better than you'. So...Ms L....I'm tolerating you.
Peace and Love in abundance :-)
I absolutely LOVE words. Never have I learned this lesson more as when working with my clients. Many times, they take things literally and you are thrown for a loop to come up with something they would understand.
I've thought about words recently in light of the political climate today and more specifically, in regards to Dr. Laura. Granted, I think she is a horrid judgmental woman with an ax to grind. Her use of the "N-word" was pretty disgusting and now I see where she is quitting so "I can say what I want". Really? Thought you did that already. She claims freedom of speech...blah blah blah. Is it freedom of speech to incite hatred and your sense of disgust? It is one thing to speak your opinion but yet another to be so irresponsible that you do not care about the consequences for what you say. I remember when she said that gays were a "biological error". Reeeeaaalllly. Who is she to say what God intended?
It does bring up a powerful argument, however appalling. There are a few words to describe a class of people(minorities) that are equally as disgusting. I think the problem is(as Ms L---I don't give her the distinction of Drhood--alluded to in her rant) that black people call themselves the N-word and hey, shouldn't it be okay for others to call them that too? I guess you'd think so under this argument. I feel this way about other words: "retard", "fag", "Dyke" . The same argument can apply. I am guilty of using "dyke" about myself because in my world it is a positive word. The more I've thought of this debate, the more I realize...if we want others to stop using these words, we as a group (gays, blacks, etc) need to stop using them within our own world. Everyone around me knows I HATE the word "retard"...yet I hear many teenagers and young people using it. If you stop someone from saying it around you, they will have to search for a new word. Like "that's kinda gay". Hell, I've been guilty of that because there are times, let's face it, it fits.
I think it's up to us to change within ourselves before we can expect others to take that step.
Oh yah...and that word TOLERANCE. I hate that too...to me, it means 'I'm just putting up with you because I'm better than you'. So...Ms L....I'm tolerating you.
Peace and Love in abundance :-)
Sunday, August 01, 2010
Sunday Morning Rant and Raves
I noticed the last time I blogged was in March and here it is August now, officially! Turn me over and paint me blue! Let's see if I can find something interesting to say!
In April, Cindy was fired from her job and while most people always say it was THEM that were wrong, in this case, it is really true. What this company was doing has to be against major labor laws. Cindy was working 12-15 hour days and then driving 3 sometimes 4 hours to the next location, get to the hotel sometimes at 1-2am and be up and ready again by 7am. That is just wrong. She was falling asleep at the wheel. That aside, she was fired because one of the asshole Drs did not like her and wanted her gone. Said he didn't like how she did the exams(Cindy worked for a mobile MRI service)...even though many times, she asked people if there was anything she could do differently, do better, etc....no answer. Plus a year before she was written up because she brought a safety issue to their attention...apparently safety doesn't matter as she was told never to bring it up again and then they wrote her up. Personally, I am grateful as they probably saved her life by letting her go. So Cindy is filling in at the hospital where she worked previously...thank God she kept that job on the side as it appears now, she might get a spot back there. Not the most ideal place, but it's a good job.
Brittany has been working fulltime since mid june and may be finally moving out soon! YAY!!! I am doing the happy dance. I got her into this program through the college for young people and they found her the job for the summer and now the little cafe is hiring her permanently! Yes, it's a cafe/bistro that is now going to expand a bit, so she'll be working more. She would not have done this had I not nagged her and told her it was her only choice.
As for me, I've been busy busy. I'm managing a "site"...sort of group home, with 2 young girls there. One of the girls, I worked with at the agency I left last november(see past post on whistleblowing lol) and her parents wanted to get her out of there. Her mom called me up and asked me if I would manage this new place. So I felt honored and Cindy talked me into taking it and I am so grateful I did. I still have 2 other clients plus I just got a call for another potential client. I sure like being independent and not being attached to any agency.
I've been listening to Sirius radio in my car and LOVE LOVE it! I've been listening to Michelangelo Signorile show...gay politics, gotta love it! It has really helped me be more informed here in the midwest. REPEAL DON'T ASK DON'T TELL dammit! I think the government is totally not going to do this, it is obvious by their inaction. Anyhoo, don't get me going on that!
I am going to be an AUNT in October!! First time and I am excited!
I am still seeing my mother, though I've discovered she is doing this in secret and has been for 2 1/2 yrs. My stepfather supposedly does not have a clue. This is just one of those things that I will never understand...why would my mother not be up front with him to say "look this is what I am doing, if you won't sit down and talk about it, it's your problem. It's my daughter and I will see her." Apparently, she's not strong like that. You always think your mother is the strong one and strong willed. I think my mother was with us but she has let people bully her, including her husband of over 32 years...I am sure it stems from my grandmother. So..I still see my mother in restaurants and public places. And I can't call her now that he is retired and she calls me when he is not at home. Why am I always someone's dirty little secret? LMAO I say that because Cindy is not out to her family...but I'm really okay with that but after 5 1/2 yrs if living together, you'd think someone would be questioning....and they probably are! Oh well...life goes on!
This is the life of ME!!!
Peace and Love
In April, Cindy was fired from her job and while most people always say it was THEM that were wrong, in this case, it is really true. What this company was doing has to be against major labor laws. Cindy was working 12-15 hour days and then driving 3 sometimes 4 hours to the next location, get to the hotel sometimes at 1-2am and be up and ready again by 7am. That is just wrong. She was falling asleep at the wheel. That aside, she was fired because one of the asshole Drs did not like her and wanted her gone. Said he didn't like how she did the exams(Cindy worked for a mobile MRI service)...even though many times, she asked people if there was anything she could do differently, do better, etc....no answer. Plus a year before she was written up because she brought a safety issue to their attention...apparently safety doesn't matter as she was told never to bring it up again and then they wrote her up. Personally, I am grateful as they probably saved her life by letting her go. So Cindy is filling in at the hospital where she worked previously...thank God she kept that job on the side as it appears now, she might get a spot back there. Not the most ideal place, but it's a good job.
Brittany has been working fulltime since mid june and may be finally moving out soon! YAY!!! I am doing the happy dance. I got her into this program through the college for young people and they found her the job for the summer and now the little cafe is hiring her permanently! Yes, it's a cafe/bistro that is now going to expand a bit, so she'll be working more. She would not have done this had I not nagged her and told her it was her only choice.
As for me, I've been busy busy. I'm managing a "site"...sort of group home, with 2 young girls there. One of the girls, I worked with at the agency I left last november(see past post on whistleblowing lol) and her parents wanted to get her out of there. Her mom called me up and asked me if I would manage this new place. So I felt honored and Cindy talked me into taking it and I am so grateful I did. I still have 2 other clients plus I just got a call for another potential client. I sure like being independent and not being attached to any agency.
I've been listening to Sirius radio in my car and LOVE LOVE it! I've been listening to Michelangelo Signorile show...gay politics, gotta love it! It has really helped me be more informed here in the midwest. REPEAL DON'T ASK DON'T TELL dammit! I think the government is totally not going to do this, it is obvious by their inaction. Anyhoo, don't get me going on that!
I am going to be an AUNT in October!! First time and I am excited!
I am still seeing my mother, though I've discovered she is doing this in secret and has been for 2 1/2 yrs. My stepfather supposedly does not have a clue. This is just one of those things that I will never understand...why would my mother not be up front with him to say "look this is what I am doing, if you won't sit down and talk about it, it's your problem. It's my daughter and I will see her." Apparently, she's not strong like that. You always think your mother is the strong one and strong willed. I think my mother was with us but she has let people bully her, including her husband of over 32 years...I am sure it stems from my grandmother. So..I still see my mother in restaurants and public places. And I can't call her now that he is retired and she calls me when he is not at home. Why am I always someone's dirty little secret? LMAO I say that because Cindy is not out to her family...but I'm really okay with that but after 5 1/2 yrs if living together, you'd think someone would be questioning....and they probably are! Oh well...life goes on!
This is the life of ME!!!
Peace and Love
Friday, March 19, 2010
Human Rights Gone Wrong...
It's hard to say much against Human Rights, since its importance is so tatamount to our existence. In essence, it's what we are all fighting for. But it's all wrong.
At least in this instance. I've worked for 15 years with developmentally disabled and I can say that I know ALOT about how they function, how they think and what is important to them. I've worked with some that are total care and some that are higher functioning and need guidance to make adult decisions with a somewhat childlike mind. These people are harder to work with because they have a mind of their own and don't think twice about telling you. As I've written in previous entries, I managed a group home with 3 ladies, higher functioning but still required 24 hour supervision. Since I was asked to step down and I quit, the ladies have been transitioning into new staff and a new STUPID way of running the house. The house is actually a duplex and the other side is a group home with 3 other ladies. Soooo, since the other manager was fired(just because she was a psycho bitch from hell), they(management), in their not-so-infinite wisdom, decided to save money by hiring only 1 manager to work both sides. What they have failed to understand is...oh anything about the clients they say they are assisting. I still know what is going on because I have maintained contact with the clients while they are out in the community to help with the transition and because I care for them.
So what's my beef? My beef is in allowing clients "choice" has been detremental to them. I ran into this while I was there. Clients eating junk food all day long, gaining weight like crazy and being told to have their dr put them on a diet but when they won't follow it. "Well we can't force them to follow it." Oh we can't force them to follow rules or clean up after themselves. The point is that if they don't, there will be consequences. Big deal.
There is 1 client who, since I left, has not followed any rules, not cleaned her room(or probably herself too often). She has a boyfriend who they have allowed into her room and a few days ago, they had sex with the door open and one of the other ladies saw the whole thing. Oh, she HAS to leave the door open when he's up there. She has chosen to move out, though her parents will not take her back(yay for them). There is no one there to guide her into adult decisions. I have always treated them like adults and yes, having sex is an adult thing but the way things are handled because of the push for human rights is deplorable. It's all a system and it's a scam. Make money off of these people while pretending to do what's best for them to be productive members of society.
When will we be a society that takes responsibility for the decisions we make?
At least in this instance. I've worked for 15 years with developmentally disabled and I can say that I know ALOT about how they function, how they think and what is important to them. I've worked with some that are total care and some that are higher functioning and need guidance to make adult decisions with a somewhat childlike mind. These people are harder to work with because they have a mind of their own and don't think twice about telling you. As I've written in previous entries, I managed a group home with 3 ladies, higher functioning but still required 24 hour supervision. Since I was asked to step down and I quit, the ladies have been transitioning into new staff and a new STUPID way of running the house. The house is actually a duplex and the other side is a group home with 3 other ladies. Soooo, since the other manager was fired(just because she was a psycho bitch from hell), they(management), in their not-so-infinite wisdom, decided to save money by hiring only 1 manager to work both sides. What they have failed to understand is...oh anything about the clients they say they are assisting. I still know what is going on because I have maintained contact with the clients while they are out in the community to help with the transition and because I care for them.
So what's my beef? My beef is in allowing clients "choice" has been detremental to them. I ran into this while I was there. Clients eating junk food all day long, gaining weight like crazy and being told to have their dr put them on a diet but when they won't follow it. "Well we can't force them to follow it." Oh we can't force them to follow rules or clean up after themselves. The point is that if they don't, there will be consequences. Big deal.
There is 1 client who, since I left, has not followed any rules, not cleaned her room(or probably herself too often). She has a boyfriend who they have allowed into her room and a few days ago, they had sex with the door open and one of the other ladies saw the whole thing. Oh, she HAS to leave the door open when he's up there. She has chosen to move out, though her parents will not take her back(yay for them). There is no one there to guide her into adult decisions. I have always treated them like adults and yes, having sex is an adult thing but the way things are handled because of the push for human rights is deplorable. It's all a system and it's a scam. Make money off of these people while pretending to do what's best for them to be productive members of society.
When will we be a society that takes responsibility for the decisions we make?
Thursday, January 14, 2010
"You Never Know What's Comin' For Ya"
2010. Did we ever think it would get here? When I think of where I've been the last 10 years...I'm grateful to be right where I am. I've spent the past 5 years (woohooo!) with the great love of my life, so for that I will be eternally grateful. I really didn't know what I'd write about, but suddenly I've decided to write about where I've been since 2000.
Y2WTF: I remember Y2K vividly. I was working in Wyoming, managing a group home for developmentally disabled adults. I was invited to a new year's party...not exactly where I wanted to be when the world dissolved. Tick Tock...12:01am...whew, we are FINE! At home, I remember life in turmoil because of Brittany's behaviors. I'd bought a trailer home and at least we were on the outskirts of town. I'd been alone for some time and chose to be that way due to Brittany's issues. The biggest thing in the year 2000: I began writing THE PURSE(more on that later)
2001: This was the year Brittany's behaviors were just out of control. I couldn't live life without turmoil. Hardest year of my life. In April, Brittany went to a youth home in Wyoming. I remember the feeling of peace and the weight of everything lifted off my shoulders upon my return home, without her. I felt guilty for feeling so wonderful. Brittany's struggles were plenty this year. In October, she was kicked out of the youth home and sent to a foster home. 2001 was filled with lots of chaos.
2002: I spent alot of time writing THE PURSE, which was a big ole dose of therapy and kept my time filled. I worked as a night supervisor for the same agency and saw Brittany when I could.
Met a woman Sue and decided it was time to try. Sue was different for sure, but she definitely sparked my interest, even though she was much older. She was from Illinois but moving to Wyoming in a few months.
2003: I got a better job in Cheyenne, WY and moved into an apartment. I loved Cheyenne! I still do...so beautiful, so much to see. I loved meeting new friends and learning a new city!
2004: In the fall, I had Brittany for a visit(older posts regarding this) and she made up a story that I had sexually abused her. For 3 months, I made phone call after phone call. Finally it was dropped. Due to this, I thought it would be better for me to move back home to Iowa. My grandmother needed some help, so the timing was perfect. In November, I started chatting with Cindy online(the rest is HERstory!) I moved to Marshalltown, IA in December, 04.
2005: January 8: I met Cindy in person for the first time. I was in love before we met in person. I was so brazen, I walked into the hotel room, went up to her and kissed her right there!! I have NEVER done that before. She was the one I'd been waiting for my whole life. The one who makes me laugh, doesn't judge me no matter how much of a doofus I'm being...yet the one who gives me a swift kick when I need it. Not to mention her gorgeousness. I'm so lucky. I struggled with what to do...stay with my grandmother or Cindy. It was a tough transition, but my grandmother needed more help than I could give. In June, I moved in with Cindy. I had a couple of different jobs but nothing I was content with.
2006: Found a job in Burlington, IA making less money but it was M-F and I loved it. In June, I took Cindy to meet my Dad and stepmom...they loved her and we ended up staying way longer than we planned because they wanted to take us out for supper! HA! Life was good!
2007: March, Brittany showed up on my doorstep for a visit. She'd turned 18 and the foster parents basically threw her out. She thought she was going back to finish school...they didn't want her coming back but didn't have the BALLS to tell me that. They never sent her clothes, things...nothing. I hope karma comes to bite them in the ass...and I hope it's a motherfucker.
Bless Cindy for her strength and undying love and support...always, but especially during this time. 2007 was also the year I lost 2 close friends, my friend Judy from Wyoming who was like a 2nd mother, but more. She didn't take shit off of anyone! And Julie whom I adored. She was a the sister of Cindy's ex. She loved me because I always gave her shit and was good with the comeback lines. She died suddenly of a brain aneurysm at 48. God I miss them both.
2008: May, Brittany graduated! But oh Lordy...it was a struggle, but oh what a day I will never forget. My grandmother June passed away and suddenly, my mother came back into my life after much prodding from me and never giving up no matter how long it took me. After 19 years, getting to know my mother and her me was quite the experience. I also took Cindy to meet her and she loves her too. Did I ever pick the right girl!
2009: What a year. I was promoted at my job and working 2 jobs. The money was great but time was sacrificed with Cindy. Brittany had her own apartment but then lost it. It's a revolving door! In the summer, I reported information that was detrimental to my boss(see older posts) and in November, I was asked to step down. Again, Karma.... In December, I submitted a query for my book THE PURSE to a literary agency and they accepted and are representing me to sell it!
YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT'S COMIN FOR YA! It could be good or bad or both...but it's one helluva ride!
COME ON 2010.....show me
Let's all have a better year!
Y2WTF: I remember Y2K vividly. I was working in Wyoming, managing a group home for developmentally disabled adults. I was invited to a new year's party...not exactly where I wanted to be when the world dissolved. Tick Tock...12:01am...whew, we are FINE! At home, I remember life in turmoil because of Brittany's behaviors. I'd bought a trailer home and at least we were on the outskirts of town. I'd been alone for some time and chose to be that way due to Brittany's issues. The biggest thing in the year 2000: I began writing THE PURSE(more on that later)
2001: This was the year Brittany's behaviors were just out of control. I couldn't live life without turmoil. Hardest year of my life. In April, Brittany went to a youth home in Wyoming. I remember the feeling of peace and the weight of everything lifted off my shoulders upon my return home, without her. I felt guilty for feeling so wonderful. Brittany's struggles were plenty this year. In October, she was kicked out of the youth home and sent to a foster home. 2001 was filled with lots of chaos.
2002: I spent alot of time writing THE PURSE, which was a big ole dose of therapy and kept my time filled. I worked as a night supervisor for the same agency and saw Brittany when I could.
Met a woman Sue and decided it was time to try. Sue was different for sure, but she definitely sparked my interest, even though she was much older. She was from Illinois but moving to Wyoming in a few months.
2003: I got a better job in Cheyenne, WY and moved into an apartment. I loved Cheyenne! I still do...so beautiful, so much to see. I loved meeting new friends and learning a new city!
2004: In the fall, I had Brittany for a visit(older posts regarding this) and she made up a story that I had sexually abused her. For 3 months, I made phone call after phone call. Finally it was dropped. Due to this, I thought it would be better for me to move back home to Iowa. My grandmother needed some help, so the timing was perfect. In November, I started chatting with Cindy online(the rest is HERstory!) I moved to Marshalltown, IA in December, 04.
2005: January 8: I met Cindy in person for the first time. I was in love before we met in person. I was so brazen, I walked into the hotel room, went up to her and kissed her right there!! I have NEVER done that before. She was the one I'd been waiting for my whole life. The one who makes me laugh, doesn't judge me no matter how much of a doofus I'm being...yet the one who gives me a swift kick when I need it. Not to mention her gorgeousness. I'm so lucky. I struggled with what to do...stay with my grandmother or Cindy. It was a tough transition, but my grandmother needed more help than I could give. In June, I moved in with Cindy. I had a couple of different jobs but nothing I was content with.
2006: Found a job in Burlington, IA making less money but it was M-F and I loved it. In June, I took Cindy to meet my Dad and stepmom...they loved her and we ended up staying way longer than we planned because they wanted to take us out for supper! HA! Life was good!
2007: March, Brittany showed up on my doorstep for a visit. She'd turned 18 and the foster parents basically threw her out. She thought she was going back to finish school...they didn't want her coming back but didn't have the BALLS to tell me that. They never sent her clothes, things...nothing. I hope karma comes to bite them in the ass...and I hope it's a motherfucker.
Bless Cindy for her strength and undying love and support...always, but especially during this time. 2007 was also the year I lost 2 close friends, my friend Judy from Wyoming who was like a 2nd mother, but more. She didn't take shit off of anyone! And Julie whom I adored. She was a the sister of Cindy's ex. She loved me because I always gave her shit and was good with the comeback lines. She died suddenly of a brain aneurysm at 48. God I miss them both.
2008: May, Brittany graduated! But oh Lordy...it was a struggle, but oh what a day I will never forget. My grandmother June passed away and suddenly, my mother came back into my life after much prodding from me and never giving up no matter how long it took me. After 19 years, getting to know my mother and her me was quite the experience. I also took Cindy to meet her and she loves her too. Did I ever pick the right girl!
2009: What a year. I was promoted at my job and working 2 jobs. The money was great but time was sacrificed with Cindy. Brittany had her own apartment but then lost it. It's a revolving door! In the summer, I reported information that was detrimental to my boss(see older posts) and in November, I was asked to step down. Again, Karma.... In December, I submitted a query for my book THE PURSE to a literary agency and they accepted and are representing me to sell it!
YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT'S COMIN FOR YA! It could be good or bad or both...but it's one helluva ride!
COME ON 2010.....show me
Let's all have a better year!
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