The Danger of Doing Good, Part 2

Okay here I am still ranting...and I do have a point to all of this ridiculousness. As you shall see.
In part 1, I discussed what has happened when money, family and disabilities co-exist. Now, this is not always the case. There are some lucky folks that have wonderful families who genuinely care for them. Such is the case of another one of my clients, who has Down's Syndrome and is very high functioning. Her sister is the most caring person in the world and any money my client pays her for things goes back into a special fund specifically for my client. That is not the norm, however.

So back to "Jake". Everything with Jake has been a struggle. I've caught him lying to me several times. I treat him like the adult he is...otherwise, what is the point of it all. His sister Kimm(how can you trust someone with 2 Ms?) has continually talked about how Jake should not have any spending money. So now Jake is about to move to a much better apartment through HUD. Kimm promised him (and me too) that she would write the 30 day notice to the landlord and help Jake pack. All of these things, she did not do. Now it is clearly not my responsibility to help Jake do these things as it does not fall into the area I am contracted to help him with. I stretched it though when I offered to help him on my day off(though I did clock in and intend to get paid for it). This was on 7/14. I wrote the notice as I knew Kimm would not get around to it. And she also did not get around to helping him pack. She was to arrange things for his moving day, which was left to me. I made arrangements and she backed me into a corner asking me when she should meet me to move Jake. To say I was angry is an understatement for sure. But I had to remember it was for Jake. SO yesterday was moving day. SHe was over an hour late and tried to tell me how unclean Jake's apartment was. I told her it was not my job to be his maid. So we moved Jake and I spent another day off working. I will get paid for it...believe that.

Yes, I vent therefore I am.

So the danger of doing good means you are stuck by always doing good. I know I do too much for my clients. I cannot help it, it's who I am. I know I cannot stand by and do nothing when someone like Jake or anyone like my clients needs my help and has no one to help them. Many of the people I've worked with have no one but the people who are paid to be there. You can't help caring for them because they make you realize how important you are.

The Danger of Doing Good

Frustration has seeped into my veins and refuses to let go. I have a different job than most people I know and maybe it is difficult to understand. I have worked with the developmentally disabled(or DD) for 12 years or more and I would not trade a moment of it for all the money in the world. In fact, most often, I enjoy them more than so-called "normal" people. Life is simple to them. Black and white....anything else is hard for them to understand. I have come across this situation in my work life that is nothing less than infuriating.

I have a client whom I will call Jake. I must explain that in my job, our agency is "Payee" for some of the clients, meaning that we are in charge of their checking account and assist them in paying bills. Last year, long before Jake was my client, our agency was NOT his payee, but one of my co-workers at the time worked with him on paying his bills, cooking skills and grocery shopping. During this time, Jake was going to receive a back payment from social security. $11,000. Jake, at the time, was his own guardian. Enter the sister from HELL. I shall call her Kimm(as it is her real name and I loathe her). In an instant, she went to court and got herself in charge of this money and Jake. It was called a conservatorship and she is now his guardian. Oh she spent a little of the money on Jake but suddenly, the rest is gone. Jake's worker(my coworker) asked Kimm about the money as Jake needed some clothes. Kimm tells my coworker, "don't ask me about that money." Then, when I took Jake over, Kimm tells me she's started a new photography business. Intriguing, isn't it? Now it has been stated that legally, Kimm is accountable for this money and how it was spent. Jake lived in a dump of an apartment and was living pathetically. Jake is an adult and perfectly capable of cleaning, though he does have cerebal palsy..a mild form but he is unstable when he walks. Kimm in the meantime has complained because she wants Jake to pay certain bills that SHE came up with and did not inform anyone. 1) Make payments on a BURIAL PLAN she began to make payments on
2) Renter's Insurance(a $20,000) policy she started "for" Jake
3) Pay the lawyer bill for becoming his guardian

Jake does not owe these bills. Jake had money to pay for these outright.
I do not understand how family members take advantage the way they do....when there is money involved, it is amazing what happens. I love money...because I don't have it. What's right is right and what's wrong is pure evil.

Coming soon: The Danger of Doing Good prt 2

Welcome To DramaLand!

Welcome one and all to the land where conversations are their own LifeTime movie! Yes, it's true...this is what's become my life...again!

Of course, I speak of my daughter Brittany(thank god she's not a wannabe rock goddess). We are slowly dealing with life as it was thrown to us 4 months ago. I miss my old life alone with Cindy, that is for sure...and I know she does too. There is alot to figure out. I took Brittany to the Center for Disabilities in Ia City(thanks to my brother) where they've done an assessment. Telling the whole story to the social worker was interesting. Another "training" doctor sat in on this and stated he was impressed with everything I had done to try to get Brittany help when she was younger. After these discussions, they feel she does not even have the PDD(Pervasisve Development Disorder) or maybe even the Bipolar. But they are going to do some tests and have her meet with a Neuropsychologist. The social worker observed how immature she is and I explained how she is now...where she won't have anything to do with the adult world. She does not want to watch adult movies or read adult books, she only watches nickelodeon and the disney channel and of course REBA reruns. I love Reba and that show myself, but it is not my every thought, like it seems to be with my daughter. So we have more appts. SSI has turned her down and people tell me I should appeal it. I am planning on it because I just don't see how she can make a living and support herself on her own.

Whenever I say something she doesn't like, she storms off to her room and later will come out to apologize. I've learned to let her go and not continue the argument. But I know I cannot fix what is wrong and all I can do is find her the help she needs.

If there is a reason for everything...I know that is why she was put here.

I wish I could storm off to my room.

A Kinder, Gentler Post

Okay...so I thought I would write something not so Alanis Morrisette today. Although anger is a wonderful thing, today I'm feeling somewhat calmer. Yes, there is so much more I could complain about...but I'm taking the day off of bitchin'.

Suddenly, after speaking with my boss yesterday...I feel my life ain't oh so tragic. My boss and I have bonded due to our troublesome daughters. Her daughter fell into the drug scene and mine fell into the disney channel scene. She allowed her daughter back into her house only to discover she was cooking METH in the house. My boss went right to the police and turned her in. Her daughter is now in Jail and could possibly go to federal prison...she's just 18 or 19. Now, not only the police entered her house but a special team from St Louis all descended upon her property to perform tests on the house....including the city. They have told her once the tests come back, if it shows over a certain percentage..the house will be condemned. My boss has to foot the bill for all of this cleaning...over $8000 and she might lose the house altogether. She cannot stay there and if she goes back in to get something, she has to suit up. It is unbelievable to me. I chose to tell my daughter this story...even knowing my daughter is so far behind on doing those things...I know that someone could talk her into trying it...but it is also a tale of consequences. They don't only affect you...but others around you. I can't imagine it all...

So today I am saying AHHHHHH life feels pretty good. I think we should all appreciate what we have and how simple our lives really are.

Peace

The Government and its TASTELESS Morsels

For a moment, let's step inside someone else's shoes, shall we? How about if those shoes were disabled...let's say for now, mentally challenged and possibly suffering from a fatal brain disease. Hey, even better...you are all of 24 years old. You have behavioral problems due to the disease and cannot make decisions for yourself, so you have someone assisting you in everything you do. You cannot work so you have to be involved with the programs offered to you to survive. Now: HAPPY DAY! You receive a check for $17,000 from the government. They say it's a back payment of money THEY owed you.

The CLINCHER: You must spend it in 6 months so it does not effect your current benefits. Hmmm $17,000. Since your time is very limited due to your fatal disease, your trusted worker helps you to take a vacation...a cruise, something for you to enjoy in the moment because you have basically no memory of even the past 5 minutes. So you go have a good time with your worker, come home...spend the money paying your bills and doing what the government said: Spend the money in 6 months.

Now, months later, here it comes: We were mistaken, so you MUST pay back every cent of the $17,000.

Sounds incredible, doesn't it? Unfortunately, it's true. This is just ONE more thing that is wrong with our precious government. They dangle the carrot knowing you have no choice but to take it and eat it to its entirety. Someone is waiting for the right moment to come and say..."Hey, you shouldn't have eaten that...now pay for it." How do you teach people to take responsibility for their own actions when the government doesn't? The programs are in place for a reason...but instead it's a part of a greedy plan. The person in question is a client in the agency I work for and it so disgusted me. I hope they fight it because it is just plain WRONG. Here's the government mantra: If it's your fault, you shall pay us. If it's our fault, you shall pay us.

Another Case: One of my clients, before I worked with him, was awarded somewhere to to tune of $1400 from the government...back pay from SSI. My co-worker who worked with him at the time, was very smart. As we are his payee, she did not allow him to access it because she knew they would come back at some point, wanting it back. Sure enough, he received a letter stating he MUST pay it back, THEY were wrong. So she mailed the check. In return, SSI sent her back a RECEIPT that stated: "Keep this paper as your receipt." Late last year, my client received a letter stating there WAS NO RECORD YOU HAVE PAID THIS DEBT.

WHAT? I probably posted about this earlier, as it totally disgusts me. So then the woman in our agency, Linda, who deals with payee things and balances the checkbooks, got on the phone with the local social security office and also the federal one. The federal office actually told her, "It doesn't matter that you have a receipt or even the cancelled check."

How bad is the world (and the USA) coming to when being right doesn't matter?

As it turns out, the local office did not communicate with the federal office, so again....the left hand didn't know what the right hand was doing. Hmmmmm.....how shocking.

You know, there ARE good things the government does. There are good programs to help people who cannot help themselves. There are those regular people who can use these programs to improve their lives and be self-sufficient. There are those who will NEVER be self-sufficient but have to survive in some way. What do you do when the help you are giving someone is tainted with your own greediness and thoughtlessness? Even evil is not beyond the realm of possibility.
As people....members of this society, this country that everyone professes to love SO much, we should be able to trust our government.

How can you trust a wolf in sheep's clothing?

The Demise of Morality...in a NUTshell

Well here it is... for all of the 2 people that read my blog...my long awaited comments on the declining morality of today. Or maybe it's the fact that I have no morals at all, so I have nothing to judge others by. Hmmm have I ever been judged and scrutinized over the way I handle my life? But of course....but I can still hold my head up high and not let my pants drop low. I don't even know if I am making sense...I digress once again.

I see so many things that disgust me that it's hard to pick just one. So, I shall continue my rant on the dropping of the pants. In an earlier post, I discussed how I'd read that this was a prominent custom in the prisons to mean one was "available" and ripe for the picking. Whenever I've seen someone, the guy(usually is, though I've seen a few women) is usually with his girlfriend or other buddies...but a couple of weeks ago, after I thought I could not be disgusted any further, I witnessed what I believe as a problem with kids growing up today. As a parent who was harshly judged, sometimes it is difficult for me to pick on the parents...but for this, I must. I was at Walmart(which is where these sightings most often occur) with a client of mine, shopping. We were checking out when I watched a male person(so self respecting person calling himself a MAN would do this) with his jeans way past his ass, showing his underwear(not even boxers) as he pushed 2 young children in his cart. He did not even have the decency to wear a long shirt like others do. I suppose there are those who feel this is a fashion statement and I do not pretend to know a damn thing about fashion...hell, I am a lesbian after all! This borders on exhibitionism. What does it say to these young children that they have to see their father's unders? Most of us would hurl seeing our parents walk around in their unders. I admit, I've seen my father in his by accident...and most of us have...by ACCIDENT. Now if this man was NOT the kids' father, then that's just another problem of parents not caring who their children are around. How can parents be a role model in today's world?

Keep your clothes on.