Making Sense Out of a Senseless Tragedy

There is no way to do it, I don't care how you try, it cannot be done. Recently, a family in Iowa was killed "Allegedly" by the oldest son. It hits close to home because I know the sister of the father who was killed. Not too well, but nonetheless, someone I know is going through hell right now.

The father, his wife and 3 daughters were slain in their own home. Now I am a firm believer in the notion that there is some big plan for everything, though we might not understand it. I cannot make that transition with this event. It tests everything I believe. I have a hard enough time with death, let alone something so awful.

What is the world coming to when the only way to deal with your family is to kill them? Are we so immune to the violence of the world that this becomes second nature? Everyday, someone is shot, killed and tortured and that is not even mentioning war. War has taught us, it's okay to kill someone, take away their life, since they don't beleive what we do. I have my misgivings about the death penalty, but for the most part I agree with it...mostly I think it's too good for all of them. Ugh, don't get Cindy started on that topic!

One more thing:
Why is it that the media shows up for funerals in these cases? It is so maddening to me. There were news crews at these poor people's funerals. Why? Would they want them there if it were their family? My friend and her partner were hounded so much, they had to go stay somewhere else. To have people in your face asking "How do you feel?" WTF...

My friend said now that she has grieved and the funerals are over....she is just angry.

And I'm right there with her.

Greed: It's What's For Dinner...

Every time I believe in humanity and the notion that people are really good, down deep...something will inevitably change my mind. Now mind you, I believe that most people are not this way with their own family members...but it makes you wonder.

One of my coworkers and I work with 2 clients who share a house. Our agency is their payee for their money, so part of our job is to work with them on managing their checkbook and money. James is my coworker's client. He is lower functioning, is difficult to understand at times when he talks and some might say, has strange tastes. He has straggly hair and appears dirty many times...and is because most often he does not shower. I am not sure of the details of his childhood, but it was rough and he was not taught that hygeine was important and obviously, other things. He has a half brother who is suddenly coming around the house every friday and this guy looks like he came from some trailer part down in the bayou...the bad part of the bayou. While at first, we all thought this was good that his family was wanting to spend time with James, it has turned into something else altogether. Every Saturday, my client, Mike, and James share a cab to go grocery shopping. Suddenly, James's brother and entourage are taking him grocery shopping. James has strange eating habits and doesn't eat meat unless it's sausage. While looking over his receipts, my coworker noticed James was buying huge family packs of steak and pork chops..things James never eats. James only has so much money and now he spends every weekend with his family. A couple weeks ago, James had a huge amount of pop cans to turn in and my co worker suggested he have his brother take him. Well, he came there while I was there with my client and James and his brother got the cans together. These were out on the porch. Mike had his inside the house. The brother come in the house and I watched him eyeing Mike's cans. I made a point to say to Mike, "Hey Mike, aren't those your cans there?" Mike says, "Oh yes, those are mine right there." I can just see it in his eyes. So every weekend, James spends money for these people and they come back for more. Our boss has said not to say anything because then these people won't want anything to do with James. But we know, once he's out of money, they won't want him anyway. James is already talking about living with these people, so who knows what crap they are filling his head with over there. He has started spending the night. James says he sleeps in a recliner. What's sad is James doesn't see what they are doing, all he knows is that his brother wants to see him and he is so desperate for that attention. It just burns me, watching it, but there is nothing we can do but sit and watch. Though my coworker tells me James is getting more difficult when it comes to handing over his receipts for his groceries....though this has been something he's done for years. Money is the evil source for so many things and it leaves a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. And when you can't even trust your own family members...what does that say?

Case 2:

Another coworker of mine has a client named Joe. He has had many problems, as he has been court ordered to have so many hours of skills training with us. He wasn't paying his bills and giving all his money to this girl in another city around 45 minutes away. This girl has a baby and a boyfriend supposedly in prison she is waiting for. Joe received a bunch of money from Social Security as back payment...not just a piddly amount either...$10,000. Joe's sister hurried herself after Joe's last court date, to make herself in charge of this money, though our agency is now his payee. Sure she bought Joe a few things for his dumpy apartment, a new microwave, a new tv some dishes. She didn't buy him any clothes or even a winter coat that he needs. Whenever my coworker has asked Joe's sister about new clothes and using that money, she tells her to "just forget about that money. I don't want to talk about that money." Now, you know, when someone plays that avoiding game regarding money...there probably is no more. Supposedly, Joe's sister is to be held accountable for that money....but who is going to do that? What's worse is that for the last 2 weeks, Joe has been sick. He couldn't swallow and could not eat or drink, or what's worse for Joe, is he couldn't even smoke! My coworker took it upon herself to take him to the Dr. Come to find out...Joe has THRUSH. I know I've heard of this and the way my coworker was explaining it to me, I asked her, "Is it some kind of venerial disease?" She tells me there is only 2 ways to contract it....Oral Sex and she said that babies sometimes have it. EWEWEW(Yes I say ew even though as a lesbian, it's almost a job requirement). God only knows where this girlfriend of his has been...but also come to find out, the girl has it too.
Now my coworker took Joe to get this medicine, which is liquid. Joe shakes alot and she knew he was going to spill it everywhere as he would be left to self medicate. Sure enough, Joe's sister called my coworker to say that Joe had spilled the whole bottle and needed more. But this was over a week later, so Joe never got any medicine for a whole week! My coworker finally took Joe back to the dr and emphatically told them he needs a pill instead. Finally this was accomplished, but then Joe's case managerk, who is through the county tells my coworker that she's gone to far with her job and she is not is caretaker or mother and that Joe's family should have stepped up to the plate to handle this. WHAT? What do we do when that doesn't happen? Meanwhile, Joe is so destitute and needs so many things that this money could help him with...and my coworker says, "meanwhile, we are going to the salvation army to buy jeans." How appalling is that? It just burns my blood that so-called families will do anything in the name of greed when it comes to money....

Meanwhile, I try to keep faith that people are inherently good...

That's So Ghetto!

There was once a teenage girl I worked with last year that would tell me "that's so ghetto!" all the time. It just cracked me up. The language of teenagers today makes me laugh...especially girls. Last week while at work, there was a letter from a teenage girl to a boy she liked, left on the table in our office. I don't know the author or her intended recipient....whether or not they were clients or not, but it was left there on the table for some reason and all of us caseworkers got a royal kick out of it. It started, "Hey Sexy..." haven't we all started a letter like that? LOL Every other word was OMG "I can't believe that girl did that to you! OMG I'm SO not like that and would not do that to you? Like OMG I can't believe it!"

This all came home to me a few days later when I talked to Brittany. She was going to the Homecoming dance and was talking about giving last year's picture to her boyfriend's grandmother, who happens to be her boss at her job. This was the conversation:

"I was all like, I didn't give you last year's picture? And she was all like, "No, you didn't." And I was all like, "Wow, I thought I did. Do you like want one this year?" And then she was all like, "Yes I want one." And then I was all like....."

I couldn't stop laughing and then I wondered if my mother thought my language was weird. Sometimes, I can stop and really listen to people and how many times they say "Like" in a sentence or when they talk about someone else talking, they say.."and then she GOES..." It's really fascinating. I think it stems from the wonderful 80s and the valley girl movement.


And then I was all like.....WOW TOTALLY AWESOME!