The TRUE Testament

Yes....every once and awhile it's nice to discover a verification of why I am a gay woman. Oh I've had several of them over the years...

There was that time that guy(who was married and had no clue I was gay) made a pass at me...touching my leg TWICE. ***SHUDDER*** I took 2 showers to try to scrub out the memory. It was then I thought..."YEP, I am SOOOO Gay." It really helps you to know you can never go back and it's really who you are, it's not just saying you are gay.

There was a few times when I was much younger that I had a notion I was BI(sorry that I just don't understand that notion)...met a really good guy but when it came down to sleeping with him...Lordy, I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

Now, I am not saying there are not good men in this world, because there are. In fact, there have been a couple in my life over the years that really made me wish I wasn't gay. I've always said, I like men, as long as they keep their clothes on and accept that I don't want them and sleeping with them will NOT make me suddenly decide I was wrong about myself.

This being said...I made yet another discovery a couple days ago while at the mall. Yes, a TRUE TESTAMENT of why I am such a big ole lesbian.

I saw 4 men...they were young, 3 of them were black and one was hispanic. I only mention this fact because I have seen this before in black men, the younger ones especially. Though I am not saying it's a racial thing...it's a MAN thing. The mall of course, is full of Christmas and kids and people galore. Here comes these 4 men, and 3 of them are grabbing themselves, trying to find their special "friend" that I guess is present in all of their important decisions. One guy actually let go, but then just couldn't resist finding it again. Now I have to wonder...was he attempting some telekenesis to decide on what store to go into...was he asking his "friend" his opinion about whatever they were all talking about? I am not sure. Are these things made of GOLD where they just MUST touch them for good luck? All I can say is EWWWWW

Do women really find this attractive? When I asked a coworker if they truly were made of gold, she says, "Uh no, they are not." LOL

SO all I can say is THANK GOD I AM GAY...

Not to say that women don't have some peculiar things going on...cuz I know they do..but that's another book.

Merry Christmas TO all

Love and Peace

Something Smells...

Once again I am rambling on about my job and the nature of it. I know I am lucky to know all of the clients I work with...those that are often called "retarded" which is a term I detest and it doesn't describe anything about those wonderful people I've had the honor of knowing.

I've worked for many agencies that are designed to "help" these people and in many aspects, they do. Of course, as with any company, there are problems and nothing goes down as perfect. But some things are just wrong.

Now the agency I work for has outside Case Managers for our clients...which this is different than the other agencies I've worked for. This is set up through the county. Yes another government agency...how appropriate. This is my beef...

I have a client, I will call her "K". She is the one who keeps me smiling, laughing and loving my job even at such a low pay rate. K's mother is very involved in her daughter's care and well being and doesn't just live in the moment, is attempting to plan for K's future, knowing she won't always be around for K. My job is based in something called HOME AND COMMUNITY BASED SERVICES where I train K on certain skills to assist her in becoming more independent. For K this includes shopping, laundry skills training, exercise and cleaning/domestic skills. Now when I began this job, I could tell there was a distinct school of thought about K's mother. K's mother is on the board of directors for my agency. My coworkers and my boss have a distinct distaste for K's mother. I, on the other hand, have gotten to know her and do not fear her nor does she intimidate me. We have a connection and this is due to the fact that I know where she is coming from. All of the things she does and asks for are for K and wanting to know how her daughter's time is being spent and what she is doing. Apparently, my agency and the county does not think she should be so involved and just accept whatever she gets. I find this just deplorable. And because she doesn't just sit back...she asks for answers...so she is the unreasonable bitch. K's case manager from the county AND her boss, the DIRECTOR, avoid phone calls...never return them, don't want to step up and say yes or no, but instead avoid K's mother like the plague. Now...they keep dicking her around when all she is asking for is YES or NO so she can move on to other areas.

Gee, can you tell this is a GOVERNMENT agency??? Just when you think you've seen all the bullshit you think your mind can comprehend...here comes another pile. And does it ever smell....

Here's my List...checkin it twice

Howdy there...
I saw this on KMAE'S blog and thought I'd try it....


1. What is your occupation? Caseworker

2. What color are your socks right now? Black

3. What are you listening to right now? Christmas music on XM

4. What was the last thing that you ate? Fish sticks and Fries

5. Can you drive a stick shift? My car is a stick, so YES

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Lavender

7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My girlfriend

8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Of COURSE!

9. How old are you today? 41

10. Favorite drink? mocha latte, double shot

11. What is your favorite sport to watch? FOOTBALL, it's the bomb!

12. Have you ever dyed your hair? Nope never have

13. Pets-- Spitz dog, Cody and Siamese Cat, Checkers...my gf's but now mine too

14. Favorite food- -- mashed potatoes and gravy and then, Italian

15. What was the last movie you watched? Another gay movie(AWFUL and waste of time)

16 Favorite day of the year? March 17....My daughter's birthday and then January 8(day I met Cindy)

17. What do you do to vent anger? yell, write

18. What was your favorite toy as a child? electronic battleship

19. What is your favorite season? Fall

21. Cherries or Blueberries? Cherries

22. Do you want your friends to email you back? You bet

23. Who is most likely to respond? hard to say

24. Who is least likely to respond? Hmmmm

25. Living arrangements? Me and my girl Cindy, the dog and the cat

26. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday listening to a song in the car

27. What is on the floor of your closet? My dresser

28. Who is the friend you have had the longest you are sendng this to? 2 years

29. What did you do last night? watched football

30. Favorite smells? My girl's body spray

31. What inspires you? People with disabilities

32. What are you afraid of? Death

33. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? I say CHEESY and SPICY

34. Favorite dog breed? jack russell

35. Number of keys on your key ring. 10

36 How many years at your current job? 1 year in March

37. Favorite day of the week? Saturdays

38. Favorite holiday - Thanksgiving

39. Ever driven a Motorcycle or heavy machinery? Forklift

40. Confident? most often

A Whole Mess of Wrong Doings

Well...here I am again shooting off my mouth about what's wrong with the world today. Let it be said that I know there are alot of things that are right. In my line of work, I see all kinds of things that involve the well being of those who cannot always speak for themselves. These are people that others in their world have just shoved aside like yesterday's newspaper. Unfortunately, the government is involved in their lives...mostly Social Security and the Department of Human Services(DHS). Now, I have had my own dealings, personally, with these agencies and no matter what state you are in, it's always the same crap to wade through. See what y'all think about this:

One of my coworkers works with a client I will call S. The other day, my coworker was out with S and a conversation ensued. An innocent conversation turned serious. S talked about her stepfather "hurting" her and she ended up showing my coworker by pressing down her stomach saying her stepfather hurts her and hurts her feelings. Now no matter if this is true, we are mandatory reporters. So with the backing of our boss, my coworker reported this to DHS. Come to discover, S's mother works for DHS. The person my coworker reported this to actually told her it probably wouldn't be investigated as, "I know that family and go to church with them....known them for a long time."

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

So now our boss thinks that S's mother will pull her daughter out of our program. Apparently, she is pissed off that much. Now instead of being pissed off that her own daughter is saying these things, shouldn't she find out why she is saying it? And it would not matter what agency she placed her daughter in...they would HAVE to report it.

What is wrong with these agencies can never be corrected when they decide not to take cases seriously because they know the family or it's a worker's family. What bullshit, but this is what the government has created...the "I'll scratch yours if you scratch mine" mentality. It begs the question: If this will not be investigated, what else is not investigated? How many children, disabled and elderly people have to endure abuse at the hands of their caretakers? And the one place you can go to make things right doesn't take you seriously. I thought of this when my daughter Brittany stated that I had abused her...because of her past problems, they did not take it seriously...but if no one investigates, how do they know nothing's going on? Every case should be investigated and treated as if something bad has happened...but should be investigated impartially. Obviously, that cannot happen in these agencies.

What else has to happen?

That's my rant, I'll be here all week.

All I Want For Christmas Is....For it to be OVER!

Just when Thanksgiving gets done with, knowing the madness has only just begun kinda gets my cackles in an uproar. Although, I have to say..my Thanksgiving was probably the best I've had in many years....if not the very best. My heart just melted having Cindy there, the love of my life and having everyone in my family accept her as part of the family. It made me feel so good to see my stepmother hug her while doing the dishes...don't moms just love it when someone steps up to do the dishes! LOL Cindy had to go home early and since we drove separate cars, I spent the night. My stepmother how well I did for myself having Cindy in my life and I had better "Mind your Ps & Qs." That always makes me laugh! My brothers were both there with their women LOL My brother and his wife came from Denver, CO and my younger brother was there with his girlfriend. Normally, I am not fond of holidays but I can feel it getting better. My stepmother even called to find out what Cindy and I wanted for Christmas! I feel so grateful. My dad, my grandmother, me and brothers stayed up late playing dominoes LOL It was good. Now if only Christmas were done and over with...there's never enough time or money. And why do we stress out so much...oh that's another entry!