Warm Fuzzies

It was a good couple of days. I took part of Thursday and all of Friday off, since Cindy and I were SUPPOSED to go to the Dixie Chicks on Thursday originally, but since they cancelled, I decided to make a trip out of it anyway and go see my grandmothers that live in Marshalltown, IA...one in a nursing home there and one in assisted living there. Cindy and I also wanted to get away, so we went to Ames, IA Thursday night, where I graduated from College, Iowa State University. I wanted to show her around. I took her out to eat at my favorite BBQ place and she was in heaven. We relaxed at the hotel...where by the way, due to AAA, Cindy got a discount for the room, that we discovered was normally $135/night for $77! I just can't imagine paying that much....it's insane, but it's probably even more once the football season comes along. Friday morning we went for breakfast and I drove her around the city, then we went to Marshalltown to see my grandma June, who is my mother's mother. My mother, whom I have not seen in over 17 years, or talked to even...if you've read previous posts. My mother has baffled everyone in her family. No one understands why she has cut everyone off from her world. So, at least I know now, I am not the only one. But even her own mother, she barely comes to visit. I know it's because she thinks she is getting money, but she is not. But my grandma June is a cold German....or she used to be while I was growing up and I suppose during my mother's childhood. I am guessing she holds my grandmother responsible for her perceived awful childhood. True, my grandmother has never been overly affectionate, although I can honestly say she has mellowed as she's gotten older. Obviously, I cannot say this for my mother. My mother always told me, "I don't ever want to be like my mother." She's 100 times worse. Anyway, Cindy bought some beautiful Begonias for both my grandmothers. So we went to see Grandma June and stayed chatting for 3 hours. I believe she liked Cindy and enjoyed our conversations. I was so proud watching her sit there and engage in conversations with my Grandma June....she just wins over anyone. Grandma told me that my Aunt(my mother's sister) and uncle were at their house having a yard sale and I should stop by and see her. So we did. I love my aunt....she's always been a wild sort. She would buy me birthday and christmas presents to piss off my mother...POGO sticks, Unicycle, skateboards LOL And then at my high school graduation, she sat in the audience wearing a LAS VEGAS visor that lit up like a neon sign! LOL My aunt is very interested in my writing and has encouraged me to keep trying to get it published. She has started reading my novel but had to quit due to her leaving town, but wants to finish. When I told her it had gay characters in it, she says "I don't care! I love books like that!" Well Cindy and I showed up and I introduced her to my aunt and uncle and we talked and talked. My aunt even gave Cindy a hug when we left! It makes me feel so wonderful....it's beyond words. Cindy has met my other grandmother, Millie, before as she is the one I lived with and took care of. And she really likes her and always thanks her for taking care of me! It was such a good couple of days, it just makes me smile.

Everything happens for a reason and sometimes it all falls into place.

A Day in the Life

Yesterday was another good day at work. Half the time, it doesn't even seem like work. I've worked with developmentally disabled since 1995 and wouldn't trade my experiences for the world. They make me laugh and forget about whatever issues that plague my mind. So, yesterday I was with Dean, whom I walk at the mall with every Tuesday and Thursday. He is the most high functioning of anyone I have, I think. He makes me laugh so much because of his sarcastic wit and humor. He's talked about politics, the war and other things that are unbelievable. Last Thursday was his birthday, though I did not know it until he got into my car and said, "It's my birthday today, what are you going to do for me?" He's very proud and never lets me buy his drink when we get finished walking. He says, "I think I'm in the mood for steak and lobster." LOL I tell him, "I think you forget where I work!" When I take him to the mall, I drop him off and then go park, while he starts walking. So while he was walking, I snuck into the hallmark store and got him a card and some candy that he likes. For all the kidding, he wasn't expecting me to do that and was very appreciative. I told him I had to sneak around because that was the only way!

Well, yesterday, I went to pick him up and his mom comes out to say, "That sure was a cute card you got for him. You seem to know him so well!" So then yesterday while we were walking he says, "are you up to having a frosty(at Wendy's) today, it's on me." He wanted to buy me a frosty for being so nice and getting him the card. I was so touched by the whole thing. Then when we got back to his house, his mom came out with a big sack of tomatoes and a cucumber for me. It just goes to show there are good people and it makes it all worthwhile to see it happen.

I told Dean yesterday that on Thursday I was going out of town, but he was the only client I was working with, as I had cancelled everyone else. He says, "You just couldn't stand being away from me, could you?" bahahaha I said, "No, I need your daily dose of sarcastic comments to get me through!" He told me, "Well if it's lip you want, I can give you lots of that!"

That's why I have such a good time!

The Other BOY

Here is the infamous cat CHECKERS. He is 9 I think and Siamese. He is all fluff and has his own personality. I guess there isn't a cat anywhere that doesn't. He loves being a lap kitty, but on his own terms. LOL

One of THE BOYS

Finally! I got this thing to work. YAY! This is Cody, the dog. How I love this picture as he looks like he is posing for vogue or something! He is the most gentlest dog I've ever seen. He has no behavioral problems, though he begs for food, but what dog doesn't. He's not crazy about men..wouldn't you know he belongs to a lesbian? Cindy's ex brought him home when he was a puppy and he barely survived, as he wouldn't eat and was in danger of Cindy taking him back, but then at the last minute he started eating. He's now 10 years old and adorable.

KMART and Their Brand of Retail

Well, since my pictures won't post of "the boys" mainly, Cody the dog and Checkers the cat, for some unknown reason...I will tell the tale of my recent KMART experience. Now, I do not like KMART and have had several unpleasant experiences there with rude staff and stupid happenings, but this shows how fighting back can help.

August 4th, 2006, I took one of my clients to KMART. She is quiet and shy and also fun to be around. She saw it advertised that notebooks were on sale for .39 there. So we go to KMART and she picks out 4 notebooks. We get to the checkout and they ring up at $1.59. I tell the cashier myself that they are supposed to be .39. The girl leaves us, goes back to check, then on her way back, walks right past us to the customer service desk, I am sure to ask what she should charge. The notebooks my client picked out were stocked in the wrong place. I asked the cashier, "Did you see they were stocked wrong?" She says "Yes." But still charged the $1.59 and my client still wanted them. I was so angry with the whole scene that I wrote an email to the KMART Corporation explaining this situation and how wrong it was to charge someone for their employees mistake. They, in turn, forwarded the email to the manager of the store. I soon received an email back stating that I was right and my client should not have been charged for their mistake in stocking and we could arrange to come in and get the notebooks for .39. So, I feel pretty good and vindicated. Mostly, for my client, because most often, they have no one to advocate for them. I would fight long and hard for my clients, any clients I've ever worked with, as they have enough things against them just to survive in this world and if I can help to stop someone taking advantage of them, I will...it is part of what I do. So, I guess I have to give credit to the store manager for stepping up to the plate and righting this wrong. She called me yesterday and said she would inform everyone that was working that we were coming in. Just let them try to mess with me! HAHA!

Don't get me started on THE DIXIE CHICKS canceling their concert! GRRRRRR

The Men in Our Lives Are Animals....

These are the men in our lives. Cody, is part Spitz and part Collie and the most gentlest dog I've ever come across. Of course, he is spoiled but aren't they all?

The cat is Checkers....a siamese with the CAT attitude. Of course, he thinks he is the only one. He loves to be outside but will jump the fence when you are not looking. He has taken over both of my chairs and races into them if he thinks I am headed there.

I loved finding someone that had animals. I've had lots of them and things changed in my life so much that I had to find homes for them. It's a wonderful life with Cindy and the boys.....wouldn't change a thing.

Sunday Offering and Sudden Rants

This is partly a rant and part realization of decisions I've made in the past. Brittany called me the other night, something like 6 times in 10 minutes on my cellphone, though for some reason I did not hear it. She leaves me a message to call her, I thought, after 2pm. As it was 9:30 her time once I figured it out, I decided not to call. I've had an issue with the foster family as when I've called, basically every time I call her and someone else answers, I get nothing but the third degree and attitude from the foster mom or the dad. Now the dad doesn't do much except bring home the bacon. These people are older and I imagine he will be retiring soon. I am so tired of getting the run around and then hearing the snotty attitude. Who knows what kind of comments they are giving Brittany. Otherwise I wouldn't care. I will never trust these people because they've lied to me before and most often they don't even tell Brittany I've called. Then, of course, she thinks I don't call. So, I finally get a chance to call Brittany after work on Friday...I imagine it was after 3pm her time. The dad answers and when I ask for Brittany, he hollers, "Who?" I say, "Brittany." He says, "No, she's not here. She's at work." I ask if he knows when she will return, he says, "No," quite sternly. My stepmother has even told me that when she's called, she gets the runaround and they are nasty, giving her the third degree also.

I suppose they are like many people who think it was easy for me to give Brittany up and I've had this free life ever since. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wrestle with decisions I've made and no matter how awful I am treated, I have to believe it's the best life for her. I know in my heart they treat me this way because I am gay and they know it. At least it is partly. I've done what I needed to do for myself and especially for Brittany. So, in essence, I've decided to let Brittany call me from now on and plan on telling her so. Her life is getting busier now than ever before due to her job. Since I love writing, that is what I will do now. It is so hard realizing she's all grown up and I have to let her do her thing...and also that I've missed the past 5 years...though they have been traumatic for me also, in the things she's done and said. Life goes on and I will believe things turn out the way they are meant to...

That's my Sunday offering.....

Another Side of Intolerance

Although I really detest the word intolerance/tolerant, I suppose it is the only thing I can come up with right now. There are reasons why I hate it, along with the word retard. I come across this word all too often when I talk to supposedly human beings, about the work I do. It hasn't happened for awhile, but when it does, I can feel myself coming unglued. Just like those of us who are fabulously fabulous...others come across this abhorrant behavior by those who believe they have the power to judge and look down upon others less fortunate or different. Following is a story that happened to me that I will never forget...

Back in 2004, I was living in Cheyenne, Wyoming, working for an agency that worked with developmentally disabled adults...group homes and day habilitation services. I originally began working in the group home, but then was asked to work in the main building and help with clients' appointments. I worked closely with one of the nurses that was assigned to one of the group homes, where I used to work. This particular day, the nurse Christine and I were taking Chris(the client) to the dermatologist. Chris was afflicted with Down's Syndrome and was non-verbal. He was all excited when I picked him up in my new car I'd just gotten. So I arrived with Chris to the appointment, meeting the nurse there. We were going there due to a condition Chris had on his toenails. We always had to apply this solution to his toenails, I believe to lessen them, so he could walk better. Now, this solution had eaten away at his nails and now he basically had no toenails left. I sat next to Chris in the exam room while the nurse was there. The doctor comes in and after he looks at Chris's toenails, he begins to talk over Chris's head at me, and at the nurse. He says, "Well, I would agree, that if Chris were another type of person, we would discontinue the solution, but since he's who he is, it really doesn't matter if he has toenails or not. He's not going to be hanging out at the beach."

Are you kidding me? I couldn't be really hearing this right. Chris knew what was going on and the dr's tone, because then he started hitting himself in the face, like he always did when he was upset. I felt like hitting the dr. To say I was angry, was the understatement of the century. I took Chris to day hab and went to talk later with Christine, the nurse. She did not understand why I was so upset with the Dr. She stated from a medical standpoint, she understood, as not having the toenails would make it easier for Chris to walk. She didn't think anything of it because of being a nurse and thinking in medical terms. I suppose this is why the dr didn't seem to care how he talked to him. Or in my mind, he was just an asshole.

I went back to my supervisor and told her how upset I was about this and what had happened. She appeared to agree with me, and she talked to some other people, but what can you do? You can't talk people out of being assholes...we all know it.

I work with this everyday and if anyone ever understood how perceptive these people are, how intelligent, no matter what their disorder...they would see so much. People always tell me how patient I am to work with these people...I lose my patience dealing with so-called regular people who are less intelligent than the people I work with.

So, if you are ever one of those people trying to take advantage or attempt to be inhuman to one of my people...all I can say is God Help You and even HE knows you are being bad....

That's my rant for today, you may go back to what you were doing now. Thankyouverymuch

Tell Me Again...Why Are We Friends?

I've had a recent pondering of people that have remained in my life and why. I have a "friend" whom I'll call Annie. I've known her since I was 12. We met in junior high school, I believe it was art class. Her mother is one of my closest friends/mother figures still to this day(who, as it turns out, is one of the "family"). The family took me in, there were 4 other kids besides Annie. During the time we were growing up, I would take refuge in being with that family when things with my mother were a bit crazy. I did notice, however, at Annie's treatment of her mother. She was spoiled and only ever thought of herself and her needs and wants...mostly wants. She usually got her way and she talked to her parents any way she chose. I found this upsetting, to say the least. I knew enough never to talk to my mother that way.

Annie and I always hung out together during high school and our adult life afterwards. If any two people were total opposites, it was us. Annie had a strange personality and many times, she was so damn moody, no one understood why. She never really had a steady boyfriend until she was probably almost 30 and she was a virgin. The man she met had 2 kids, was divorced. They are still together today, but have never married. I wrote about the kids in an earlier blog entry(May archive, "The Mouths of Children Today"). So the first man she ever had sex with has been with her all this time. That is not to say, it has not been close to being over, that's for sure. He is wonderful, though I am not sure what he has seen in her all these years, but for some couples, it's just a mystery what keeps them going.

I called her the other day and she tells me about the oldest boy, James, who is in college and home for the weekend. James's girlfriend comes over, eats their food and hangs out with him, along with Annie's nephew. They play video games and leave a mess for her to clean up...fast food sacks, garbage lying around. Yet she picks it up. They do this while she is at work. I told her there is no way I would tolerate that. She said that D(the bf) had attempted to talk to the boy the night before about his asshole like behavior, yelling at people, doing whatever he pleased, but he didn't seem to care. This is the world they have created by being so lenient. She tells me that D doesn't want to say too much to him for fear of isolating him and the boy getting pissed off and hating him.

WHAT?

Now I see how much alike they really are. Annie has never had kids of her own. They've given things to those kids they should have never had, instead of paying bills and they have walked all over them. Yet they were the first ones to tell me how wrong I was doing the things I did for Brittany, giving her up, putting her on medication. Aren't people hilarious when they are so hypocritical?

After this conversation, I sat wondering why I was friends with Annie. Annie and I didn't talk for many years...6 0r 7 and who knows why. I heard she was mad at me because I had man-bashed and it offended her. For some reason, I worked hard in the past couple of years to mend this relationship. I am not sure why, other than we have a history. We had fun together and we still do and I do enjoy her and D's company when I go see them. Now that I am only a couple hours away, it is nice having people to go see. But I am so disgusted by the way they live their lives, it makes it difficult. They want to meet Cindy, but I am afraid she would be as appalled as I am LOL When I saw them again, I wanted to do something to help them, so I gave them $500 and it was the worst mistake ever. It wasn't a loan, as I had the money at that time. They didn't use it wisely, let the kids go shopping. I was upset, but there is nothing I could say. But I learned a valuable lesson, that's for sure.

I suppose there are always people that are our friends growing up and even into adulthood that we always sit and wonder why they are in our lives. I enjoy the fact that Annie and I have such a long history, but I am not sure there is much else that bonds us. Even her bf told me years ago(I used to work for him) how much different Annie and I were. He always told me it was a waste that I was gay. LOL I told him, "Oh, it's never wasted, believe me!"