Sunday Offering and Sudden Rants

This is partly a rant and part realization of decisions I've made in the past. Brittany called me the other night, something like 6 times in 10 minutes on my cellphone, though for some reason I did not hear it. She leaves me a message to call her, I thought, after 2pm. As it was 9:30 her time once I figured it out, I decided not to call. I've had an issue with the foster family as when I've called, basically every time I call her and someone else answers, I get nothing but the third degree and attitude from the foster mom or the dad. Now the dad doesn't do much except bring home the bacon. These people are older and I imagine he will be retiring soon. I am so tired of getting the run around and then hearing the snotty attitude. Who knows what kind of comments they are giving Brittany. Otherwise I wouldn't care. I will never trust these people because they've lied to me before and most often they don't even tell Brittany I've called. Then, of course, she thinks I don't call. So, I finally get a chance to call Brittany after work on Friday...I imagine it was after 3pm her time. The dad answers and when I ask for Brittany, he hollers, "Who?" I say, "Brittany." He says, "No, she's not here. She's at work." I ask if he knows when she will return, he says, "No," quite sternly. My stepmother has even told me that when she's called, she gets the runaround and they are nasty, giving her the third degree also.

I suppose they are like many people who think it was easy for me to give Brittany up and I've had this free life ever since. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wrestle with decisions I've made and no matter how awful I am treated, I have to believe it's the best life for her. I know in my heart they treat me this way because I am gay and they know it. At least it is partly. I've done what I needed to do for myself and especially for Brittany. So, in essence, I've decided to let Brittany call me from now on and plan on telling her so. Her life is getting busier now than ever before due to her job. Since I love writing, that is what I will do now. It is so hard realizing she's all grown up and I have to let her do her thing...and also that I've missed the past 5 years...though they have been traumatic for me also, in the things she's done and said. Life goes on and I will believe things turn out the way they are meant to...

That's my Sunday offering.....