Tell Me Again...Why Are We Friends?

I've had a recent pondering of people that have remained in my life and why. I have a "friend" whom I'll call Annie. I've known her since I was 12. We met in junior high school, I believe it was art class. Her mother is one of my closest friends/mother figures still to this day(who, as it turns out, is one of the "family"). The family took me in, there were 4 other kids besides Annie. During the time we were growing up, I would take refuge in being with that family when things with my mother were a bit crazy. I did notice, however, at Annie's treatment of her mother. She was spoiled and only ever thought of herself and her needs and wants...mostly wants. She usually got her way and she talked to her parents any way she chose. I found this upsetting, to say the least. I knew enough never to talk to my mother that way.

Annie and I always hung out together during high school and our adult life afterwards. If any two people were total opposites, it was us. Annie had a strange personality and many times, she was so damn moody, no one understood why. She never really had a steady boyfriend until she was probably almost 30 and she was a virgin. The man she met had 2 kids, was divorced. They are still together today, but have never married. I wrote about the kids in an earlier blog entry(May archive, "The Mouths of Children Today"). So the first man she ever had sex with has been with her all this time. That is not to say, it has not been close to being over, that's for sure. He is wonderful, though I am not sure what he has seen in her all these years, but for some couples, it's just a mystery what keeps them going.

I called her the other day and she tells me about the oldest boy, James, who is in college and home for the weekend. James's girlfriend comes over, eats their food and hangs out with him, along with Annie's nephew. They play video games and leave a mess for her to clean up...fast food sacks, garbage lying around. Yet she picks it up. They do this while she is at work. I told her there is no way I would tolerate that. She said that D(the bf) had attempted to talk to the boy the night before about his asshole like behavior, yelling at people, doing whatever he pleased, but he didn't seem to care. This is the world they have created by being so lenient. She tells me that D doesn't want to say too much to him for fear of isolating him and the boy getting pissed off and hating him.

WHAT?

Now I see how much alike they really are. Annie has never had kids of her own. They've given things to those kids they should have never had, instead of paying bills and they have walked all over them. Yet they were the first ones to tell me how wrong I was doing the things I did for Brittany, giving her up, putting her on medication. Aren't people hilarious when they are so hypocritical?

After this conversation, I sat wondering why I was friends with Annie. Annie and I didn't talk for many years...6 0r 7 and who knows why. I heard she was mad at me because I had man-bashed and it offended her. For some reason, I worked hard in the past couple of years to mend this relationship. I am not sure why, other than we have a history. We had fun together and we still do and I do enjoy her and D's company when I go see them. Now that I am only a couple hours away, it is nice having people to go see. But I am so disgusted by the way they live their lives, it makes it difficult. They want to meet Cindy, but I am afraid she would be as appalled as I am LOL When I saw them again, I wanted to do something to help them, so I gave them $500 and it was the worst mistake ever. It wasn't a loan, as I had the money at that time. They didn't use it wisely, let the kids go shopping. I was upset, but there is nothing I could say. But I learned a valuable lesson, that's for sure.

I suppose there are always people that are our friends growing up and even into adulthood that we always sit and wonder why they are in our lives. I enjoy the fact that Annie and I have such a long history, but I am not sure there is much else that bonds us. Even her bf told me years ago(I used to work for him) how much different Annie and I were. He always told me it was a waste that I was gay. LOL I told him, "Oh, it's never wasted, believe me!"