Life Changes Turned Upside Down

Saturday morning I received an interesting phone call. It was from Brittany's foster mother, whom I will call S. It is rare for her to call me. I only receive these calls when Brittany is out of control. Well, guess what...it's happening now. I knew something was going on, but wasn't sure to what extent.

Ever since Brittany purchased her cell phone, I've heard from her practically every day, more than once. She text messages me like crazy. It has felt nice to hear from her so often...though it has concerned me when she messages me from school and on her work break. Brittany told me that she and S are at odds and she spends most of her time in her room, hardly talking to S. I have attempted to talk Brittany into talking with S. It has only been since S called me, that I know the true extent.

Brittany will be 18 in March and the guardianship is over. Brittany has a friend, C who is a year younger than her. Apparently, this friendship(from what S has told me) has been off and on. When C gets tired of Brittany she calls her names like "fat" and "retard" even though Brittany is neither one of those(and even if she were, this is no excuse from a so-called friend) . S told me that Brittany has come home in tears and then C ignores Brittany until she decides to bring her in again. C also gets jealous if Brittany has other friends. Brittany has recently spent alot of time with C and C's parents. C's parents have invited Brittany to come live with them when she turns 18. Though Brittany will not graduate until she is 19, she is planning this. S has told Brittany she can stay there as long as she wants, so it's not like she wouldn't have anywhere to go. S also tells me something disturbing about C's parents. Apparently, C's mother has told Brittany that Brittany is the only one of C's friends that C's father doesn't continually stare and watch every move. This left me with a creepy feeling that 1) C's mother knows this and tells Brittany and 2) That it has continued to happen with other girls. And to think my daughter wants to live there? S agreed with me when I brought this up and stated she felt the same way. Brittany has manipulated her way with S and refused to talk at all to her. When S stated she would call me, Brittany told her, "She doesn't want to talk to you, she hates you." Which is totally not true, but this is what Brittany does. As it was, S had to steal my number from Brittany's address book. S stated to me that in Brittany's mind, she and C are going to get an apartment together. C is a year younger and Brittany is living in this fantasy world. Her answer to S is "I'm an adult and I can do what I want." I was so disheartened to hear all of this. S warned me that she was going to ground her from her phone as she is on it late at night, takes it to school even when she is not supposed to and is constantly defying S. According to S, C and her mother swear at each other, there are no rules or boundaries and I am sure this looks wonderful to Brittany. The other side of this is that Brittany has emotional problems and cannot deal with life. She has cursed and thrown things and at times, hit S. I know all about this, though Brittany was much younger. S told me the next time, things got violent, she was going to call the police, have them put her in the youth home for 72 hours to give her a taste. Brittany was in the youth home when she was 12 due to her violent tendancies, that no one believed would ever happen, even when I told them exactly what would take place. So this is what has come to be.....I told S that I would try to talk to Brittany the next time she called me. She has texted me on Saturday, but I chose not to call her with the intention of talking to her. I didn't want her to feel ganged up on. I do want her to know, however, that S and I have talked and I know everything. I do not want Brittany moving in with those people and I just pray it doesn't happen. Yesterday, I did not hear from her at all....so it could be that S has taken her phone as promised. I assured S that I was in total agreement with her and she needed to follow rules and understand she is NOT an adult and must follow S's rules of the house. During the past 5 years, I have had this conversation with Brittany. So now I wait to hear from Brittany....it all just hurts my heart

The Way of the Crab(b)

This past weekend, I attended a family reunion. Since it was on my mother's side, it was a big deal. Since I have not seen my mother for almost 18 years, I felt pretty good that I was included in this party. My mother never goes to the reunion, so I was not worried she would be there. My grandmother's maiden name was CRABB. There were 6 children born into the Crabb family, my grandmother being the youngest. Now she is the only one left. She will be 88 years old in December and lives in a nursing home in Marshalltown, IA. My aunt Kay(my mother's sister) and my uncle(her husband), are so wonderful. She is the total opposite of my mother. She is a fun loving no holds barred woman...how much I love that and never fully appreciated that when I was a child growing up. My aunt and uncle live in Marshalltown and never left, so she has bared the brunt of living in the same town as my grandmother all these years. My mother left town. I am not the only one my mother has abandoned. She has done the same thing to my brother and her own family, my aunt and grandmother included. I know that she is waiting for my grandmother to die because she thinks she is getting some money. I have a feeling she will be greatly disappointed.

So, every year some member of this entourage throws the "CRABB REUNION". This time it was one my mother's cousins, Sharon...whom I didn't know or remember. These people I am sure I have not seen since I was quite young. I walked into the church where it was held and Sharon says "You're Julie, right?" I said yes, in shock. She says, "I knew it was you....dare I say, you look just like your mother." Great I thought LOL

This CRABB REUNION is a big deal....they have minutes written down and how much was raised from the sale of the CRABB FAMILY COOKBOOK and everything that went down the year before. It's very organized. The decor was CRABs everywhere and there were door prizes. I was the first one to win, so I picked out a rainbow neon colored stuffed crab LOL No one would ever know just how appropriate that was! LOL It was a nice time as I sat with my grandmother. People have laughed who have known my grandmother, when I say her maiden name was Crabb. My grandmother, a staunch German, all her life has been quite a cold woman...though she has mellowed as she's gotten older. She's told me she loves me and cries when I visit her in the nursing home. She's always been pretty bossy, it's her nature and all my life, I've been used to getting up and doing this and doing that. So I was on bathroom patrol with my grandmother. She is pretty weak and I know she can take herself to the bathroom, though it is hard for her. So when she asks me, I can't refuse. I have to laugh and wonder why I always get these jobs! Who ever thought all those years ago I would end up wiping my grandmother's end? LOL

My aunt has been interested in my writing and has wanted to read THE PURSE, or finish it. I brought it for her and gave it to her. She is going to try to finish it by Christmas as after that she and my uncle go to their house in Arizona for the winter. She wants me to get published so I can stick it to my mother, since she obviously thinks I would turn out to be no good at all. It's a good feeling to see all these other people that are a part of my family...people I've never really known. Life goes on....

1800 BUSTED

Yesterday was indeed interesting! And there is one driver that is probably pissed off right now. I am driving to Burlington IA where I work, which is about 40 minutes away from where I live. I have to drive highway 61 which runs through Fort Madison, IA. Some moron in a CAR QUEST AUTO PARTS truck cut me off, then speeding through 30 mile/hr zones, swerving in and out of traffic, no signals or anything. What's so moronic is that right on the back of his truck is a bumpersticker that gives an 800 number and asks the loaded question: "HOW'S MY DRIVING?" and lists the truck number. Oooooh this is just giving me too many options to resist. So I finally catch up to him and right the number on my hand and for the first time, call this 800 #. I talk to the woman, tell her the truck number and she told me that she would give a call to the manager of the store and took my name and number. Maybe an hour later, the manager called me asking for the specifics. I tell him and then say, "I feel that someone in a company car should be a little more responsible." He tells me, "We just wanted all of the specifics before we talk to him." I wish more people had HOW'S MY DRIVING? on the back.

Have a safe and happy day!

Writing

What a weekend. It was wonderful having a 3 day weekend. I've spent much of my working life working every holiday and most weekends. It's the nature of what I do. This is the first job in awhile I've worked M-F and had holidays off. How I love it! The pay is crap, like most rewarding jobs...that's why you really have to love it. Uhh I digress....

So this weekend, I FINALLY started writing again. This time I am writing the story of Brittany and how it all came to be. I've decided to leave out my being gay, because if it is ever published, I do not want that to be the focus and I know damn well it would be. I've finally got the bug again...

I am still trying, though I've put it on the back burner for now, to get my other book published. For future reference, it is called THE PURSE....here is a synopsis:

Lydia Blackwell is a 38 year old therapist and lesbian. Raised in a mansion outside of Chicago by a her father, William, a prominent stock broker and businessman, a hispanic housekeeper/nanny and a butler. Lydia's mother died in a fiery car crash when Lydia was 3 years old. As the story opens, Lydia rushes to her father's bedside. It was only a matter of time before the cancer took over. He apologizes for not being the father he should have been. Even though Lydia has kept her sexuality hidden from her father, he tells her, "...never be ashamed of who you are or even....who it is you love." Then suddenly, William Blackwell tells her "...your mother, she's alive." and then Lydia's father is gone forever. Lydia dismisses this confession as a man delirious with disease until she overhears the housekeeper and butler, who are her surrogate parents, talking about the big secret. At her father's funeral, Lydia meets a man who, through some prodding from Lydia, admits that he and William were lovers for many years. The man gives Lydia a stunning silver beaded purse. Little does Lydia know, there are people after this trinket, including a mob family, who are more connected to Lydia than she knows. Once Lydia finds her mother, a whole other world opens up...long held secrets her mother thought were long ago buried rise again. Suddenly, Lydia's whole world is turned upside down after she realizes the people she'd trusted her entire life have let her down. No one is who they seem and THE PURSE holds answers and even more questions.

Of course, there is more to this story. It took me 4 years to write this book. Life happens but it was during the writing of this book that I realized what I want to do with my life. It's funny how I got this idea too. My ex gf in Wyoming, D, I shall call her...brought out this slinky purse, kind of 20s style...I'm sure an antique. She told me her grandmother found it in a drawer and threw it at her saying, "I don't know where this came from...your drunken grandfather probably won it in a poker game for all I know." It had a family crest embedded on it. I started thinking then...wouldn't it be a story for this purse to be passed on from person to person. Lordy, everything's a story to me! Then I thought about D. Her mother died when she was 3, of diabetes. The woman was only 26 years old. But in my twisted mind, I thought, "Wouldn't it be crazy if they just told her that her mother died and she's really walking around somewhere?"
That's where the story started and it evolved into something I never expected or planned on.

I've read the book to Cindy and she read some too....but she's not a reader and doesn't care that much for fiction. But as she was reading it, she got involved with the characters. There were a couple of people I worked with in Wyoming that read it and couldn't believe I wrote it HAHA
There was a publisher interested out of Denver...but they changed owners and it fell through the cracks. But one of these days....it will be out there.

But the story on Brittany is non-fiction, so I think more than anything, it will be the one. And it's a story I want to share. Everytime I tell it, people can't believe it really happened and what both Brittany and I went through.

What can I say....I am an incurable dreamer....

Just A Little Something

Brittany called me from her new cellphone that she purchased herself with her first paycheck from her first job. She is having the time of her life having this job. She sounds so grownup and she has surprised me, for sure. She has learned to text LOL and she has been texting me quite alot, calling me more often.

She also told me she is moving in with her best friend and her parents after she turns 18 which is in March of next year. I am not sure what I think about it, but apparently her foster mom is mad at her for that decision, even though she'd told her "it's your decision". Brittany told me, "I've had enough." But there is 8-9 kids in that house all the time and I know she is expected to babysit and do things that really the foster mom should be doing. It's the way they make money. If that's what I had to do to make money.....uhhh, I'd be happy to be poor LOL

But I can be very very grateful that Brittany and I are still close after everything that has happened. So I sit back and watch. Knowing she will be 18 is so crazy for me. She hasn't had the easiest life and who knows what's around the corner. She's working in fast food which is something I just cannot do....it's not the easy job people assume it is. So I applaud her and am so very proud of her...YOU GO GIRL! LOL