Life Changes Turned Upside Down

Saturday morning I received an interesting phone call. It was from Brittany's foster mother, whom I will call S. It is rare for her to call me. I only receive these calls when Brittany is out of control. Well, guess what...it's happening now. I knew something was going on, but wasn't sure to what extent.

Ever since Brittany purchased her cell phone, I've heard from her practically every day, more than once. She text messages me like crazy. It has felt nice to hear from her so often...though it has concerned me when she messages me from school and on her work break. Brittany told me that she and S are at odds and she spends most of her time in her room, hardly talking to S. I have attempted to talk Brittany into talking with S. It has only been since S called me, that I know the true extent.

Brittany will be 18 in March and the guardianship is over. Brittany has a friend, C who is a year younger than her. Apparently, this friendship(from what S has told me) has been off and on. When C gets tired of Brittany she calls her names like "fat" and "retard" even though Brittany is neither one of those(and even if she were, this is no excuse from a so-called friend) . S told me that Brittany has come home in tears and then C ignores Brittany until she decides to bring her in again. C also gets jealous if Brittany has other friends. Brittany has recently spent alot of time with C and C's parents. C's parents have invited Brittany to come live with them when she turns 18. Though Brittany will not graduate until she is 19, she is planning this. S has told Brittany she can stay there as long as she wants, so it's not like she wouldn't have anywhere to go. S also tells me something disturbing about C's parents. Apparently, C's mother has told Brittany that Brittany is the only one of C's friends that C's father doesn't continually stare and watch every move. This left me with a creepy feeling that 1) C's mother knows this and tells Brittany and 2) That it has continued to happen with other girls. And to think my daughter wants to live there? S agreed with me when I brought this up and stated she felt the same way. Brittany has manipulated her way with S and refused to talk at all to her. When S stated she would call me, Brittany told her, "She doesn't want to talk to you, she hates you." Which is totally not true, but this is what Brittany does. As it was, S had to steal my number from Brittany's address book. S stated to me that in Brittany's mind, she and C are going to get an apartment together. C is a year younger and Brittany is living in this fantasy world. Her answer to S is "I'm an adult and I can do what I want." I was so disheartened to hear all of this. S warned me that she was going to ground her from her phone as she is on it late at night, takes it to school even when she is not supposed to and is constantly defying S. According to S, C and her mother swear at each other, there are no rules or boundaries and I am sure this looks wonderful to Brittany. The other side of this is that Brittany has emotional problems and cannot deal with life. She has cursed and thrown things and at times, hit S. I know all about this, though Brittany was much younger. S told me the next time, things got violent, she was going to call the police, have them put her in the youth home for 72 hours to give her a taste. Brittany was in the youth home when she was 12 due to her violent tendancies, that no one believed would ever happen, even when I told them exactly what would take place. So this is what has come to be.....I told S that I would try to talk to Brittany the next time she called me. She has texted me on Saturday, but I chose not to call her with the intention of talking to her. I didn't want her to feel ganged up on. I do want her to know, however, that S and I have talked and I know everything. I do not want Brittany moving in with those people and I just pray it doesn't happen. Yesterday, I did not hear from her at all....so it could be that S has taken her phone as promised. I assured S that I was in total agreement with her and she needed to follow rules and understand she is NOT an adult and must follow S's rules of the house. During the past 5 years, I have had this conversation with Brittany. So now I wait to hear from Brittany....it all just hurts my heart