Dirty Dorothy and the Pantyhose

Recently, I was living with my 83 year old grandmother, overseeing her care. She lived in a trailer park with pretty decent mobile homes. I got to know many of the elderly women and men in the community there. One such neighbor that lived just across the street from my grandmother was someone we just called "Dirty Dorothy". I am not sure why this name stuck, but it seems to fit somehow. Many times, Dorothy would be out digging in her yard with a flashlight past 11pm. Dorothy told my grandmother not to ever call her unless her blinds were up...which was usually afternoon, as she informed everyone who knew her, most nights she would drink a 6 pack of beer and then sleep past noon. I worked from 1pm-11pm and when I came home, Dorothy was always outside, even during the winter months.

Last spring, Dorothy was to go to her grandson's wedding and had fussed and fumed about what to wear. She stopped over to tell us she had decided to wear the "same damn dress I wore to his last wedding. I doubt he will even notice." She stated she was going to buy some pantyhose or some nylon stockings to wear, she couldn't decide which. These were the hot topics of discussion for the day. Later that day, Dorothy came back to tell us about her excursion out shopping. Apparently, she bought a couple pairs of pantyhose. Once Dorothy tried them on, she told us, "I didn't want that damn cotton crotch lining in there. It makes it too hard to pee. So I took me a pair of scissors and cut out the crotch and MY GOD! I just about cut off my pussy hairs!"

My grandmother and I laughed until we cried. How interesting to me that she decided to cut out the crotch while she had them on. She explained, this way she wouldn't have to even take them off to pee.

Whoda thunk it?