Spiderwoman

You think you may know SpiderMAN, and you might, but you've not lived until you've seen a web of psychoticness like Spiderwoman. I am still not sure what allowed me to jump into this relationship, but I guess it's the old lesbian UHAUL joke. I met her on the internet(where else?) and moved in right away with my daughter of around 8 years old. I had to admit I didn't know much about this woman I'd given myself to. I was sure I was in love with her. She was very controlling, only wanting me to work when it was convenient for her, couldn't talk to anyone else, male or female, or she was sure I was cheating. The longest 3 months of my life. Such is my tale of woe(or WHOA, as is more appropriate).

Melissa was in the bathroom taking a bath, when I heard this talking. Not just talking, but odd talking. I knocked on the door and asked just who she was talking to, sure she was just thinking outloud.

"I'm talking to Charlotte," she says.

"Who?" I ask, still unclear.

"Charlotte," she repeats, pointing underneath the sink.
Turns out Charlotte is a spider that had taken up residence under the sink.

I remain quiet for a moment, thinking of just the right reaction. I then make some sarcastic comment about the spider, sure that this whole thing was a joke.

Melissa's face becomes red and she was clearly angry with me. "That was SO rude of you. You apologize right now and tell Charlotte that she is the prettiest spider in town!"

She had to be joking and I was a sucker for this whole charade. As I studied her face, I realize she is serious. So to appease her, I hear myself say, "I'm sorry Charlotte. You are the prettiest spider in town."

Spiderwoman...yet another lesson in psychology. I left 1 month later.