It is a strange thing the way people breeze into your life and then suddenly a strong gust of wind comes along and carries them away.
A few years ago, around 2002, I worked as a night supervisor in southwest Wyoming, overseeing 6 group homes with developmentally disabled adults during the overnight shift. I was mostly out to people, though I was not involved with anyone. I met a woman who was starting to work for me on the night shift. She appeared to be somewhat masculine, dark short hair and she had that walk. I really assumed she was my "religion" so to speak. We struck up many conversations that led me to believe that she was what I call "undiscovered territory". I enjoyed talking to her and apparently she was talking alot about me to other people, wanting to know things about me. More than 1 person stated they thought she had a crush on me, as I was all she talked about. I found this fascinating and it just validated my thoughts that she was at the very least "curious". Her name was even masculine, Michaelyn...I would say "Do you think her parents were expecting a boy?" One night she says to me, "I don't understand it. You're so funny, you have a great personality....you could have any man you wanted." It's odd that someone would say that to me, because I can't say I've actually had a relationship with any man. I told her, "I don't want a man ....it's not something that makes me happy." I've tried with men, yes....there was always something missing and I never knew what it was...this is what I attempted to relay to her. Michealyn told me she understood a little more and she appeared confused. She also told me stories where people assumed she was gay, she'd been mistaken for being gay. Well, it didn't take long for the gossip mill to begin churning and people thought she was gay and were saying so. Michealyn even talked me into taking an exercise class with her during the summer. I got to know her even more, even met her 2 kids.
In 2003, I resigned and moved to Cheyenne, Wyoming to work in another facility, some 4 hours away. I returned one time to visit and I ran into Michealyn, who had quit working there. She told me she was getting married to this man she'd known for many years. She seemed excited, though inside I was saying "yah right. big mistake." I thought here is another person marrying into "the life" only later to find out it was a mistake and she'd lied about who she really was. But it's a lesson everyone has to learn on their own. I told her I was happy for her and she invited me to the wedding, though I never did hear from her or received an invitation otherwise. I have wondered whether this actually took place or not.
Now here it is, 2006....I travel to southwest Wyoming in March, St Patty's day weekend to visit my daughter who still lives there and a friend, someone who I'd worked with. I usually stay at her home while I'm in town. As it turns out, there was a big storm coming through Wyoming and I was stuck there instead of making the drive back to Iowa. My friend's husband, a deputy sheriff, came in and talked about a bad bad wreck on I80 involving a truck and there were kids.
Yesterday I called my friend to say hello and she tells me that one person was killed in that wreck. It was Michaelyn. She'd had 3 kids with this man she married, the youngest was 6 months. The kids were fine, but she'd been thrown from the truck and broke her neck. My friend said that apparently she was happy with this man. So maybe my gaydar was off, wrong or needs new batteries.
I'm surprised how this has effected me. It brings you back to how short life really is. I'll never forget the girl who could have been.....
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