Fathers

Well, yesterday being father's day and all...I decided to go see my father and stepmother and take Cindy along with me, as they had not even met her yet. I was not sure how this was going to go, but knowing my father, he would not say a word on the nature of our relationship, though I know he has pretty much accepted who I am. He's never met any woman I've been with and now I am grateful( remembering the women from my past).

My father lives 2 1/2 hours away from here, so we went to their house, went to a parade and craft show and my dad and stepmom took us out for pizza, then went back to their house for pie and ice cream. We ended up staying til after 8pm. Cindy and my stepmom bonded over their bouts with domestic abuse from their exhusbands and just talked about everything. It was amazing and I really feel they liked her and accepted her. It was great. My stepmother even gave us food to take home from the freezer! Considering just last year, my father wasn't really speaking to me after the crazy family scandal about my grandmother(previous blog entry).

Of course, I have not been the ideal daughter....but then, he has not been the ideal father, either, but most often, I believe there is just something about fathers and daughters and mothers and sons...though my mother is the exception to that rule. But for some reason, I've always been close to my father no matter what. He's been more of a father to me since I've been an adult. My parents were divorced when I was almost 8 years old and my brother was 4. We saw my father occasionally, when he lived in the same town it was every other Sunday. My mother hated it when I would always want to see my dad and did her best to dissuade me from being close to him, by telling me all sorts of things for many years..how he never wanted us and never liked dealing with being a parent, etc. So, after years of this, when I was in high school, I wrote him a nasty letter saying he was no kind of father. He called me and we talked for over an hour. He admitted he made many mistakes by not taking more time with us over the years, but that he loved us and always wanted to do the right thing. It was an amazing feat for him, because he just is not a talker about serious subjects. He didn't talk much to me either when I became pregnant and then ended up keeping my daughter, but he grew to love my daughter and loves being grandpa.I'm sure when I wrote him that letter coming out to him about 11 years ago(though I'd been out to myself for 2 years already), it couldn't have been easy. He's never mentioned my being gay....but I don't flaunt things in front of him or talk about it excessively. There's no point to make it the center of conversation. But last night, being there, in their house with my girlfriend sitting there at the table involved in extensive conversations on varying subjects was a wonderful thing.