Part 4...

In Iowa in 1989, anyway, a woman had 96 hours to change her mind AFTER the papers were signed. I've found in other states, this is not true. So, once I left the hospital, my mind was a shambles. I had everything figured out and now it was complete chaos. My family...my grandmothers(both of them) and everyone else who stated they loved me, cared about me...didn't seem to REALLY care what I wanted. But in retrospect, I allowed it to happen. Comments were made, like it really wasn't a big deal to give up your baby...so what, life goes on, right? I didn't see how it could.

Then I got a phone call from my cousin...someone whom I've never really gotten along with, but we were pregnant at the same time. She asked me if I wanted the baby. I wasn't really sure what to answer. Did I? She said, "you don't know what could happen...you could get married one day, have a different life and the baby could grow to hate you for not trying." I thought about that long and hard. I didn't sleep much, eat much...it was on my mind and something inside of me was growing stronger. Suddenly, there was no other answer.

The next day, I began making phone calls, finding out information....what my first steps were. I contacted the lawyer I'd switched over to and told him I wanted to revoke the papers. I was doing all of this in secret because I was still living with my grandmother and I knew once she found out my plans, it would not be pretty. And I couldn't have been more right. My grandmother ranted and raved...uh mostly ranting. No one in my family spoke with me...you'd think I had the plague or something. I ended up moving next door with the neighbor's as a good friend of mine lived there with her parents, who were also friendly with my grandmother...that is, until they took me in. My grandmother wouldn't speak to me.

I picked up my daughter from the foster home and began my life along with hers.
But that's just the beginning...