From Hell to Fun in a Flash

What follows is a fun time for me.



On Sunday, June 29...I was going to head to Des Moines with 2 of my co-workers and 2 other women from another department to attend a conference on brain injury. So the 5 of us were taking a company car, a mini van. Now the agency paid for the gas going there and 2 hotel rooms, plus the registration fee for the seminar. Now I did not know the 2 women from the other department, but my coworkers did somewhat. One of the women, whom I will call Mandy is probably in her late 30s and quite a large woman(maybe 300-400lbs). She'd wanted to visit Pella, Iowa(a little town known for tulips and "a touch of Holland"). I, along with my coworkers spoke out against it. I stated that I did not feel we should make any other trips with a company vehicle/gas. Not to mention, the agency was paying for our time away from work. So then it was decided to skip it on the way there. Once we got to Des Moines, the 2 women, Mandy and Lisa, wanted to go to Red Lobster and charge the agency for their dinner. My 2 coworkers, Missy and Andrea agreed with me in that we did not want to go to Red Lobster as we could not afford it. Missy and Andrea talked about telling Mandy flat out that we could not go there, but when Mandy came to our room, they buckled. Andrea knows my personality and I think was depending on me spouting off. That's me, I am not shy about saying what I think. So I told Mandy we did not want to go to Red Lobster because we couldn't afford it and they could drop us off somewhere else if they wanted to go. No, they decided to go with us for chinese. Lisa did not like chinese and Mandy didn't like steak or beef (but likes pot roast...how messed up is that). So we discovered the chinese place did not have any american food so Lisa got cheesecake. Later she went to Texas road house and got a big meal that I would be surprised if she got that paid for since there is an approved dollar amount. Let me mention also that Mandy drove there to Des Moines and is a crazy ass driver. She never used a signal or even cruise control and was speeding. We were having a fit. We decided we were not going to let her drive on the way back.

So the next day, we had the seminar all day until 4pm. Andrea says to me, "I'm sure you won't have any trouble telling her she's not driving." LOL I said "no not at all." So I say to Mandy, "we think one of us should drive back." Mandy says "Oh I don't mind." She wasn't going to let me be nice about it. So I say "Well we mind." Mandy says to me jokingly, "So are you saying my driving scares you?" I hold up my thumb and forefinger just a little ways apart and say "just a little," and raise my forefinger wider. Missy and Andrea are dying laughing and Missy is actually turning red. Once we get to the van, Mandy turns to me saying, "well since I'm not driving can I still sit in the front?" (she gets car sick). So I say "sure". Then she barks, "are we still going to Pella because I know what I want and I can just get it and be done." I'm thinking...guess I better not piss her off too much. So we were overtaken and went to Pella with Missy driving.

Now...most everyone I work with at least in my department, knows I am gay. I kind of figured that these 2 women did not know. You know, I can't help but have a little fun with people whom I have to assume are uncomfortable with gayness. Of course the whole way I made several gay jokes, mostly at Missy's expense cuz it's fun...ya know talking about her hubby being gay blahblah blah...he isn't but it's fun and she was a good sport about it. But not once did I talk about myself being gay. So to break the tension I say to Mandy, "So if someone wanted to piss you off, they would make you a steak and make you sit in the back seat?" Mandy says, "yah pretty much" and laughs. Then out of the blue, Lisa belts out, "or send her a gay woman." LOL That was my clue that they did not have any idea. So I laugh and say "Aww, gay women won't hurt you none. They just sit back and crack gay jokes all day long." I can see the back of Missy's head bobbing from trying to hold in her laughter. Then Mandy says, "Oh well I don't think I know any gay women anyway, but I've known a couple of gay men." So I say, "Oh I know LOTS of gay women. Maybe I can introduce you." I was even laughing at myself. After our trip, Andrea said "I was thinking 'yah there's one in the car with you!" LMAO

Of course....I informed my boss of the fiasco and I think it won't go over well...but I decided I would make it fun and not let her ruin it. Plus my coworkers said they had more fun with just us. I guess I am known, especially at work, for being outspoken and maybe it's the work I do. If you don't speak up and say it, the moment is gone and people can run over you. My boss says I am animated...maybe I am.

I LIKE IT!

Have fun kids!