Blessings

I'm over with all the politics. I'm over with thinking of all the things that make me angry....let's just say for this entry, I'm over it.

For now, I am reflective of the things that have happened in my life this year. It seems like in the past, my whole world was revolved around finding my true love and until Cindy, that part of my life was always in turmoil. Now that I am settled, other parts of my life have taken center stage. Maybe it's because I am settled with Cindy that I've focused more on family. If someone would have told me at the beginning of the year that I would again have a relationship with my mother, I would have said, "yah whatever." Though I realize there is much to get through with my mother, it feels good to have her in my life again. Good, yet very surreal. My mother and I now exchange letters, cards and even recipes! I think she has missed me in her life and having someone to write to, talk to and see. Currently, we are planning to get together with Brittany. She has not met Brittany and I know she must be curious. In her last letter, she wrote, "Tell Cindy and Brittany, too, hello." Cindy certainly won her over and though 98% of my thought she would...I'm still not entirely sure what she thinks of me, so it's a big deal.

So I am counting my blessings for now. Brittany even came over apologizing for "everything" as she put it. She said she had been thinking of her whole life and felt sorry for things. Who knows how long this will last but I hope she can see things differently. She is anxious to meet her "grandma". It will be an interesting moment, that is for sure.

I know I could spend alot of time angry for the past 19 years of Brittany's life without her and my life without her, but I've put that aside. I know the person I was all those years ago and she had her reasons. I would not have made the same decision because I know the effect her decision had on my life. That being said, I know her decision made me a stronger person. The people that have abandoned me in my life only helped to strengthen my resolve, especially with all I've been through with Brittany. No one else can take credit for the good things that have happened to me. My core beliefs and the person I am today have alot to do with my mother and the way she raised me....but it's what you do with it that counts. I'm a different person than my mother. I am more outspoken and honest than she is. When I say honest, I mean forthcoming in letting people know what I think, what I feel. Too many times, I've not said what I feel or think and then the moment is gone.

Not to mention, I am RELENTLESS!

As a sidenote: Cindy and I are going to a psychic next Saturday, just for fun. I am anxious to hear what she has to say. People may say it's hokey(not pokey) but my coworker Amanda went and the things she told her are coming true in a creepy way.
I will keep both my readers updated!

Have a peaceful blessful day