Here I am....just when I needed me the most. As it's been awhile between posts, here I am in all of my mediocre splendor..or is it Splenda? Who knows at this point.
As I digress...life has settled in a bit for all of us. Brittany has settled in and become comfortable and while that could be considered a good thing, it brings about the behaviors I have expected. Oh they are not nearly what I remember from years ago, but it really brings home what I've always known to be true. The girl needs some help to find her own road. I think my work with my clients that are DD(Developmentally Disabled...I refuse the word "retarded") has helped to calm me from my younger days with Brittany. Now that I am doing more teaching than physically taking care of them, I can understand more. There are communication issues. Hell, we all blow up and realize later maybe we should have talked it through. Brittany can manipulate with the best of them. It's been almost 6 years living without her...
God how I miss just missing her! LOL But for some reason, some higher power put her on my door step again for me to deal with. So I am doing what I have to do to help her help herself. My job as her mother is NOT to do it for her. A client's mother told me once, "You can love your child, but you have to make sure someone else loves her, too, because you won't always be around."
Cindy has been a dream come true...I always thought so, but every day I am reminded just how special she is. She's bought clothes and helped her organize her room and so many things. Brittany loves her and does things around the house...with a little nudging now, but has not argued too much.
I've found out that Brittany can graduate in December if she wants. So what I plan to be looking into in the meantime is finding her the right programs that offer vocational skills and real life training skills...like what I do.
I'm sure life will never be the same again...it can't. Life works out how it's meant to...like it or NOT.
So for my birthday on 5/24....I am taking myself away from here, by myself and going to visit my grandmothers. Kind of a treat to myself...and Lordy am I ever looking forward to it!
Hang in there folks!!
Peace Love and Hugs
1 comment:
Hey Birthday Twin!!!
It's almost our birthday eve!!!
I just flew back home after working 8 out of 9 days to get 6 days off over our birthday weekend! I am totally ready to turn 60!!! How old will YOU be???
You probably feel 60 after all you've been going through, trying to adjust to Brittany moving back in. Very bitter sweet when you say "life will never be the same... will never go back to where it was.."
You are an amazing, loving Mom. and, HELL! - I am falling in love with CINDY! My God, what a wonderful woman/partner/lover - "peace keeper!" You are blessed! Cindy's heart is your Gift from God (even above & beyond your birthday) for having such commitment & dedication to all things meaningful in your life, be it your work, your relationships, your daughter... whatever you endeavor to achieve.
So Happy Birthday, Dear One! And many more with all the LOVE you deserve!
xxoo,
Kathy
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