Yah it was me that blew the whistle, though I was only the messenger. I reported what was told to me...though if I would have seen any of it, I'd be the first one to report. My "tangled web" post tells the sordid tale of wrongdoing. So here is an update:
A subsequent investigation was done, people were talked to and alas "nothing substantial" was found. My boss and her "friend", the other lead staff person were suspended while the investigation was going on, but of course they both still have their jobs. I think it was just too long ago that it happened, it was too hard to prove. The effects of this are apparent as changes are being made to prevent it from happening again. So there is some good coming from it. I always believe people will end up hanging themselves...Karma will get you in the end.
Part 2 of this saga is interesting.
Before I was promoted I had a coworker that seemed like a friend, at least while at work. She was promoted also, higher than I was. Since then she has treated me badly, in her tone, her attitude and all around demeanor. Since I reported all of this, she was not to know, it's confidential. A couple days ago, she came to see me for something at work and basically let me know that she KNEW it was me that reported it. There is a "no retaliation" policy at work and she told me that, quite snottily. So I decided to talk to my boss's boss who told me to come to her if I felt anything bad happening from this whole ordeal. She was in shock but said she would take care of this. So then she(my co worker) calls me, ordering me to bring in some paperwork...very nasty.
It's a Peyton Place.
I don't want it to be said that I regret what I did. I am a firm believer in reporting what you think is wrong. If you don't, you are just as guilty. If it's true or not, makes no difference.
Nobody ever got anywhere by being silent.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Face(Book)ing Your Past
Ahhh Facebook. Isn't it the most wonderful thing? Yes, I succumbed to the pressure of joining god knows how many others on this vast universe of internet go-ers.
Facebook is odd. **GASP** yah, I said it.
I recently found my first boyfriend. Ahh I was 21 and he was 16. If ONLY I knew then what I know now...LOL if HE only knew then what I am guessing he knows now! I say first boyfriend, and he was the first real so-called relationship I had. He has been married twice, has 3 kids, mostly grown now. One of them actually has the same birthdate as Brittany, only a year younger. I think I saw him when Brittany was a baby. It is weird. I think about myself back then....how I could have been stuck with this life...with him. Not that he was bad, but he wasn't all that great. A cheater. He struck up a chat with me on facebook and said "careful what you say. SHE gets on here under my name alot." WHAT? Whatever that's about, I don't care. If his wife only knew she had absolutely nothing to fear from me...the one old girlfriend she should be happy about LOL I saw a picture of his wife and let me just say.....OMG I am sure she is older than he is and maybe there was such slim pickens for him. I dunno. I guess and old girlfriend who turned out to be a flaming lesbian ain't so bad! She has a resemblence to Susan Boyle, although Susan looks MUCH better. In a way, I wish Susan had not gotten a makeover....but I digress.....
One thing that bores me about Facebook PEOPLE is that they want SO damn bad for you to accept them as your "friend" but then they never talk to you again! So I've been deleting those people. Seems like alot of my family is on facebook now. That is pretty interesting....I like having that access.
I don't understand MAFIA WARS that everyone is playing. I don't get FARMVILLE. And what's the point of sending drinks to someone...I want the real thing dammit. Hearts and Hugs...oooh collect them all!
KMAE....look me up, YOU I will always talk to! YAY!
Peace to Everyone!
Facebook is odd. **GASP** yah, I said it.
I recently found my first boyfriend. Ahh I was 21 and he was 16. If ONLY I knew then what I know now...LOL if HE only knew then what I am guessing he knows now! I say first boyfriend, and he was the first real so-called relationship I had. He has been married twice, has 3 kids, mostly grown now. One of them actually has the same birthdate as Brittany, only a year younger. I think I saw him when Brittany was a baby. It is weird. I think about myself back then....how I could have been stuck with this life...with him. Not that he was bad, but he wasn't all that great. A cheater. He struck up a chat with me on facebook and said "careful what you say. SHE gets on here under my name alot." WHAT? Whatever that's about, I don't care. If his wife only knew she had absolutely nothing to fear from me...the one old girlfriend she should be happy about LOL I saw a picture of his wife and let me just say.....OMG I am sure she is older than he is and maybe there was such slim pickens for him. I dunno. I guess and old girlfriend who turned out to be a flaming lesbian ain't so bad! She has a resemblence to Susan Boyle, although Susan looks MUCH better. In a way, I wish Susan had not gotten a makeover....but I digress.....
One thing that bores me about Facebook PEOPLE is that they want SO damn bad for you to accept them as your "friend" but then they never talk to you again! So I've been deleting those people. Seems like alot of my family is on facebook now. That is pretty interesting....I like having that access.
I don't understand MAFIA WARS that everyone is playing. I don't get FARMVILLE. And what's the point of sending drinks to someone...I want the real thing dammit. Hearts and Hugs...oooh collect them all!
KMAE....look me up, YOU I will always talk to! YAY!
Peace to Everyone!
The Tangled Web...
Gosh, it's been quite awhile since I've written. Now I've got a doozy....
I've been working in my chosen field for almost 15 years now, working with developmentally disabled and lord knows how I love those people. I've seen alot....good and bad. It's the good that keeps me coming back. Somehow I always get roped into calling out the people who do the bad.
So recently, I've had 3 different staff members come to me and talk to me about another employee's (and in addition, my boss ) misuse of client money and verbal abuse. How it makes me ill. Of course, these things happened who knows how long ago....within the past year, but they could still be going on. Client's paying for staff's groceries, lunches...god knows what else. Not to mention my boss verbally abusing clients. So I did what I had to do...what others SHOULD have done long ago. I went to the director of the agency and reported it. Like other places, there is a "click" in management that has covered up these things. So I did not follow chain of command. Soon there will be an investigation and who knows what will happen. I am not sure anything can be proven at this late date, but at least people know now, who will do something. Evil is all over...even when people are pretending they are doing good.
I guess that's the most evil of all.....
I've been working in my chosen field for almost 15 years now, working with developmentally disabled and lord knows how I love those people. I've seen alot....good and bad. It's the good that keeps me coming back. Somehow I always get roped into calling out the people who do the bad.
So recently, I've had 3 different staff members come to me and talk to me about another employee's (and in addition, my boss ) misuse of client money and verbal abuse. How it makes me ill. Of course, these things happened who knows how long ago....within the past year, but they could still be going on. Client's paying for staff's groceries, lunches...god knows what else. Not to mention my boss verbally abusing clients. So I did what I had to do...what others SHOULD have done long ago. I went to the director of the agency and reported it. Like other places, there is a "click" in management that has covered up these things. So I did not follow chain of command. Soon there will be an investigation and who knows what will happen. I am not sure anything can be proven at this late date, but at least people know now, who will do something. Evil is all over...even when people are pretending they are doing good.
I guess that's the most evil of all.....
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Mike the Fisherman
I'm taking some time today talk about my favorite fishing buddy. I worked with Mike for 3 years and he was someone I'll never forget. Yes, Mike was developmentally disabled and also autistic. Mike's passion will always be fishing. Mike and I would always talk about fishing...all year round believe it or not. He knew so much about fishing. If someone pulled a fish out of the water, he knew exactly what kind of fish it was. He had all kinds of new sayings I always adopted. He would say "Oh I specks and 'spose everyone will be down at the river." He had a bunch of fishing buddies that he always fished with, they would look out for each other. It was like a 2nd family to Mike and I really understood what drew him down there. I was lucky enough to meet them and they took me in too whenever I would go fishing with Mike.
To work on Mike's and my "relationship" I would pretend I knew nothing about fishing and Mike took on the role of my teacher. It really ignited a spark in him to be showing me how to cast, fix my line and how to "play with the fish before you snag 'em". He even helped me pick out my new fishing pole. Mike and I became quite close. He hugged me a couple of times and people told me they've never seem him show emotion like that. I feel grateful for the time we shared and the progress he made. He would not clean his house and so I suggested that he and I clean together, him doing one room and me doing the other. Pretty soon, he would hurry and clean before he knew I was coming over, to impress me. As soon as I walked in, he would say "What do you think of the kitchen Julie? Doesn't it look nice and clean?" I felt so proud of him.
Time stands still for no one. I made a decision to take this new job, in January. It paid more and had more responsibility. Change is difficult for people like Mike. I tried to ease away from Mike, but it was not easy. He showed up a couple of times at my new job saying "I just missed you Julie." Do they ever know how to rip your heart out. So Mike started going downhill. Mike also has an "impulse" disorder, where he gets angry really fast and has hit people out in the community and though it doesn't happen often, 3 weeks ago, he was about arrested and had to go to court and pay a fine. THese were no kind of consequences for him, which is really what he needed. So I was asked to come back and work with him temporarily, to see if it would help. It didn't happen because he had another incident and on Thursday, he was committed into the psych ward at the hospital, on the day of his sister's funeral. I hurt for Mike and God knows I miss him so much. I found him at the river 1 week ago and we fished for 2-3 hours. I didn't know that would be the last time I would see him. He'd always ask me questions with "isn't that right, Julie?" His humor will always be with me and I hope the best for him...but more than that I feel so blessed that our paths crossed and we were a part of each other's lives.
I know he changed mine.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Sunday Rant
Greed is NOT good. I don't care what anyone says, it brings out the darkness in the human soul. Of course, I am convinced, those who enter that darkness have no soul. Oh sure, maybe everyone is a little greedy about money, especially when you don't have any.
I've been without money most of my life. Sure, I always want more money, but I would not take advantage of someone else who has nothing to get it.
I used to have a client, let's call him Harry. Harry is developmentally disabled and probably in his 50s. He has 2 sisters, one lives next door to him and has her moments of greediness toward Harry. One Christmas, she tells Harry if has money left over from buying her gift, that she wants the money. I told Harry, "well guess what? You are spending every penny." It just disgusted me. Harry has another sister who never sees him, ever. In fact, she visits their sister next door, but NEVER sees Harry. Harry spends money buying her kids presents for Christmas. I asked him once when I noticed she was next door, "doesn't she ever come see you?" He says, "no she never does." Fast forward to now. Harry received notice from Social Security that he should have been receiving payments since 1977! Social Security sent Harry over $100,000. SInce our agency is his payee, a lawyer was contacted and much of the money will be put in a medical trust, as he is diabetic. Gee who should suddenly make contact and act like she cares? That's right, the sister from the woodwork. She wants Harry to pay for a vacation for all of them. WTF?
I cannot even continue talking about it...it makes me that angry. I am again convinced that it is MONEY that is the root of ALL evil. It is the very thing that motivates people. Many times that is a good thing and you learn a few lessons along the way of your quest to be rich. I suppose rich people have these issues all the time...people coming out of the woodwork once they know you've got money.
Whenever our time is through...it won't matter how much money, how many possessions or what connections we have.
You can't take it with you.
I've been without money most of my life. Sure, I always want more money, but I would not take advantage of someone else who has nothing to get it.
I used to have a client, let's call him Harry. Harry is developmentally disabled and probably in his 50s. He has 2 sisters, one lives next door to him and has her moments of greediness toward Harry. One Christmas, she tells Harry if has money left over from buying her gift, that she wants the money. I told Harry, "well guess what? You are spending every penny." It just disgusted me. Harry has another sister who never sees him, ever. In fact, she visits their sister next door, but NEVER sees Harry. Harry spends money buying her kids presents for Christmas. I asked him once when I noticed she was next door, "doesn't she ever come see you?" He says, "no she never does." Fast forward to now. Harry received notice from Social Security that he should have been receiving payments since 1977! Social Security sent Harry over $100,000. SInce our agency is his payee, a lawyer was contacted and much of the money will be put in a medical trust, as he is diabetic. Gee who should suddenly make contact and act like she cares? That's right, the sister from the woodwork. She wants Harry to pay for a vacation for all of them. WTF?
I cannot even continue talking about it...it makes me that angry. I am again convinced that it is MONEY that is the root of ALL evil. It is the very thing that motivates people. Many times that is a good thing and you learn a few lessons along the way of your quest to be rich. I suppose rich people have these issues all the time...people coming out of the woodwork once they know you've got money.
Whenever our time is through...it won't matter how much money, how many possessions or what connections we have.
You can't take it with you.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Formula 44
Well...May 24th I turned 44 years old. I'm taking a hint from my twin KMAE and decided to talk about the blessings and struggles I've endured. Not a long essay, although I could easily slip into something wordy, but listing the good and the bad and lord knows we cannot forget, the ugly.
Living through parents divorce
THE 70s (wish I was older!)
Going to FRANCE in high school
Going to Washington D.C. in 8th grade
Learning to cook with Mom
Making Breakfast for my dad
Graduation (high school)...finding out my dad was there watching all along
Birth of my daughter
Being shut out by my mother
Meeting and falling in love with a woman, Teri
Experiencing the downfall of love and mental illness
COMING OUT
TO ALL THE GIRLS I"VE LOVED BEFORE....and all the men I didn't
Graduation from COLLEGE
First time I worked with developmentally disabled adults....and made a breakthrough
Coming out of my shell
Living Loving and Learning
Are women really THAT psychotic?
Sending my daughter to foster parents....most devastating, but somehow liberating
Writing my first novel and losing myself
Loving an alcoholic....and leaving
New friends...
Moving to Wyoming
Moving to Cheyenne...new friends and FRESH AIR
Crazy world of Sue
Moving back home with Grandma
TALKING ONLINE WITH CINDY....yummO!
MEETING CINDY!!!!! DELISH!
Is it Cindy or stay with Grandma?
IT'S CINDY!
Experiencing REAL love and foreverness with the girl of my dreams
My dad asking for a hug from my girlfriend!
Brittany showing up on my doorstep
Brittany's GRADUATION
OIL and WATER don't mix, they fester
Grandma June passed
My mother came alive again
Mom hugging my girlfriend
Mom meeting Brittany
Mom giving me money for my birthday and saying "I LOVE YOU"
Being in love for 4 1/2 years and never once questioning what's been given to me......
I've learned lessons and understood it's really true..."that which does not kill us makes us stronger"
I've walked the rocky path, tripped and fallen, thinking the walk just wasn't worth it...but now I can see why I fell.
Life.
Bring it on
Living through parents divorce
THE 70s (wish I was older!)
Going to FRANCE in high school
Going to Washington D.C. in 8th grade
Learning to cook with Mom
Making Breakfast for my dad
Graduation (high school)...finding out my dad was there watching all along
Birth of my daughter
Being shut out by my mother
Meeting and falling in love with a woman, Teri
Experiencing the downfall of love and mental illness
COMING OUT
TO ALL THE GIRLS I"VE LOVED BEFORE....and all the men I didn't
Graduation from COLLEGE
First time I worked with developmentally disabled adults....and made a breakthrough
Coming out of my shell
Living Loving and Learning
Are women really THAT psychotic?
Sending my daughter to foster parents....most devastating, but somehow liberating
Writing my first novel and losing myself
Loving an alcoholic....and leaving
New friends...
Moving to Wyoming
Moving to Cheyenne...new friends and FRESH AIR
Crazy world of Sue
Moving back home with Grandma
TALKING ONLINE WITH CINDY....yummO!
MEETING CINDY!!!!! DELISH!
Is it Cindy or stay with Grandma?
IT'S CINDY!
Experiencing REAL love and foreverness with the girl of my dreams
My dad asking for a hug from my girlfriend!
Brittany showing up on my doorstep
Brittany's GRADUATION
OIL and WATER don't mix, they fester
Grandma June passed
My mother came alive again
Mom hugging my girlfriend
Mom meeting Brittany
Mom giving me money for my birthday and saying "I LOVE YOU"
Being in love for 4 1/2 years and never once questioning what's been given to me......
I've learned lessons and understood it's really true..."that which does not kill us makes us stronger"
I've walked the rocky path, tripped and fallen, thinking the walk just wasn't worth it...but now I can see why I fell.
Life.
Bring it on
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Happy Mother's Day
And is it ever an interesting one! It's been about a year now since I've been in communication with my mom. It just keeps getting better and I guess a part of me is still baffled by it all.
Cindy and Brittany and I went on Wednesday to have lunch with her. We were passing through town on our way to see my Dad to return extra flooring from the remodel. It was amazing and fun. I could spend all day trying to catch up with her...it was 20 years after all. She gave me $100 for my birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US ON MAY 24th KMAE) for a bread machine! I'm sure I got my love of cooking from my mother. Inside the card for my birthday, she wrote,, "my heart is always with you."
I still have not spoken to my stepfather...apparently he is not ready yet. I do not even know why for sure. My mother always meets me somewhere and I am hopeful one day we will talk and we can have regular visits at the house. I did some bad things when I was younger but probably not what he thinks I've done. Mostly I lied....I've admitted those things to my mother. I think those were the reasons she did what she did...it's just that my grandmother perpetuated things. I told her it was awful that we didn't fight harder to find out the truth long ago.
But we are where we are...a place I never expected to be, but on this Mother's Day, I am forever grateful I didn't give up.
Cindy and Brittany and I went on Wednesday to have lunch with her. We were passing through town on our way to see my Dad to return extra flooring from the remodel. It was amazing and fun. I could spend all day trying to catch up with her...it was 20 years after all. She gave me $100 for my birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US ON MAY 24th KMAE) for a bread machine! I'm sure I got my love of cooking from my mother. Inside the card for my birthday, she wrote,, "my heart is always with you."
I still have not spoken to my stepfather...apparently he is not ready yet. I do not even know why for sure. My mother always meets me somewhere and I am hopeful one day we will talk and we can have regular visits at the house. I did some bad things when I was younger but probably not what he thinks I've done. Mostly I lied....I've admitted those things to my mother. I think those were the reasons she did what she did...it's just that my grandmother perpetuated things. I told her it was awful that we didn't fight harder to find out the truth long ago.
But we are where we are...a place I never expected to be, but on this Mother's Day, I am forever grateful I didn't give up.
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Bride & Prejudice
Congratulations to the state of Iowa, my state, for doing what should have never been in question to begin with. Iowa has legalized gay marriage by striking down the gay marriage BAN. Every time this happens somewhere, I always know it will not last as the religious right will have their way. An article I read yesterday says that this time, it will likely not even be brought up by the opposition for quite some time. But we know it will. What is even more shocking, is it was a UNANIMOUS vote.
When the religious folks start in with their hate filled words, I also realize they have the right to say what they want to. What I always think about is...what if their son or daughter came to them and told them they were gay? What would they do or say? I thought of that when that bimbo sarah palin paraded her family on the stage during the campaign. Yah I said bimbo. It's Sunday, so I am being nice. To me, this is the way I am and we've all tried the other way to appease society and our families. It's not honest and I truly believe God had to have made us this way for a reason. I believe this too for all of the disabled people I've worked with. There will always be those who let their fear of the unknown control their soul. I went to a conference for work and I adored the speaker, Dr Al Condelucci. He talked about his cousin who had Down's Syndrome, that he grew up with. He didn't even realize there was such prejudice until he was outside of his family. He said "Once you get to know someone who is different than you, it is difficult to hold that same prejudice." I truly believe that. It is easier to sit back and judge than to go into unchartered territory.
That being said...for me personally, I will not get married, but I think it should not be up to the government to dictate who marries whom. What's important is the legalities of it. How many times have we been denied seeing our loved ones or being left with nothing after our partners die? I am happy the way I am and Cindy and I have discussed this at length. For us, we won't do it, but agree it should be legal for those who want to and believe in it.
So Good for IOWA. Hopefully it's a trend of what's to come.
Tune in Tomorrow
When the religious folks start in with their hate filled words, I also realize they have the right to say what they want to. What I always think about is...what if their son or daughter came to them and told them they were gay? What would they do or say? I thought of that when that bimbo sarah palin paraded her family on the stage during the campaign. Yah I said bimbo. It's Sunday, so I am being nice. To me, this is the way I am and we've all tried the other way to appease society and our families. It's not honest and I truly believe God had to have made us this way for a reason. I believe this too for all of the disabled people I've worked with. There will always be those who let their fear of the unknown control their soul. I went to a conference for work and I adored the speaker, Dr Al Condelucci. He talked about his cousin who had Down's Syndrome, that he grew up with. He didn't even realize there was such prejudice until he was outside of his family. He said "Once you get to know someone who is different than you, it is difficult to hold that same prejudice." I truly believe that. It is easier to sit back and judge than to go into unchartered territory.
That being said...for me personally, I will not get married, but I think it should not be up to the government to dictate who marries whom. What's important is the legalities of it. How many times have we been denied seeing our loved ones or being left with nothing after our partners die? I am happy the way I am and Cindy and I have discussed this at length. For us, we won't do it, but agree it should be legal for those who want to and believe in it.
So Good for IOWA. Hopefully it's a trend of what's to come.
Tune in Tomorrow
Saturday, March 21, 2009
The 9th Wonder...
It's good to be surprised. Really good. I feel pretty proud of that kid of mine. That is NOT to say that I've let my guard down, but I can say I am surprised.
Toward the end of February, Brittany moved into her first apartment. It was a struggle because I had to come of with the security deposit and I wasn't sure how things were going to go. She can barely afford it, but she is struggling like anyone else....so I consider that an improvement. She's paid her rent (barely) but isn't that the case with anyone. She has not depended on me for money, but I've helped her when I could. I've always felt, up til now, that she has needed help and she would not be able to live on her own. But she is. She told me "I didn't think I'd like it as much as I do." Tuesday March 17th was her 20th birthday. Hard to believe, for sure. Of course, there are things she is still struggling with...making good choices regarding boyfriends...but hey that is normal. Well not the boyfriends part LOL It takes a lifetime to weed out the bad ones.
My mom even bought Brittany a walmart gift card for $50. So I took her shopping yesterday and she spent it on stuff for her apartment. It might actually work out! She's done good and I told her that too.
In other news: I went to the Dr due to pain and swelling around my elbow. It appears I have "tennis elbow" without actually playing tennis. It's a sore SOB. I was supposed to have a shot of cortesone but nixed it. I also have carpel tunnel in both hands, but I've lived with it for so long now...blahblahblah
Just a short word...I will miss Natasha Richardson. If you want to see an awesome movie, watch EVENING. Beautifully done with Natasha and her mom actually playing mother and daughter. Such a tragedy.
Let it be a lesson. Life. Don't miss out on it.
Toward the end of February, Brittany moved into her first apartment. It was a struggle because I had to come of with the security deposit and I wasn't sure how things were going to go. She can barely afford it, but she is struggling like anyone else....so I consider that an improvement. She's paid her rent (barely) but isn't that the case with anyone. She has not depended on me for money, but I've helped her when I could. I've always felt, up til now, that she has needed help and she would not be able to live on her own. But she is. She told me "I didn't think I'd like it as much as I do." Tuesday March 17th was her 20th birthday. Hard to believe, for sure. Of course, there are things she is still struggling with...making good choices regarding boyfriends...but hey that is normal. Well not the boyfriends part LOL It takes a lifetime to weed out the bad ones.
My mom even bought Brittany a walmart gift card for $50. So I took her shopping yesterday and she spent it on stuff for her apartment. It might actually work out! She's done good and I told her that too.
In other news: I went to the Dr due to pain and swelling around my elbow. It appears I have "tennis elbow" without actually playing tennis. It's a sore SOB. I was supposed to have a shot of cortesone but nixed it. I also have carpel tunnel in both hands, but I've lived with it for so long now...blahblahblah
Just a short word...I will miss Natasha Richardson. If you want to see an awesome movie, watch EVENING. Beautifully done with Natasha and her mom actually playing mother and daughter. Such a tragedy.
Let it be a lesson. Life. Don't miss out on it.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Mama, She's Lazy
Okay, so now I've gone for too long without complaining about the disgusting habits of everyday people. Yah, I live in the midwest and there is a different tone here, I guess, than in the big cities...but you know, I really think it's everywhere. And it's not just Walmart.
What am I talking about? The laziness of Americans. What has happened to us when we cannot find our clothes to go out in and we just figure our pajamas are okay to shop in? Not just the pajama bottoms...but slippers too! Don't get me started on all of the HUGE women who wear NO bra. I'm no small chick myself and I've been known to but on sweats and a huge sweatshirt to drive my daughter home or to work, where I'm not getting out of the car. Kmae, if you've done this, you are forgiven! LOL
I suppose it's the "trashy" side of people now, but I've really noticed ALOT of things going down hill with our society.
What happened to common sense? It has really died a horrible death. Tragic. You see it in customer service people, fast food places, retail...it's everywhere. People are not held accountable for the job they do every day. This is an excuse-laden society. We've gotten too good at the excuses.
People talk about the economy being bad. Yah it's hard. Yah it's tough but what happened to taking some pride in yourself and being an example to those who follow us?
I know I'm going to do better just in case someone cares.
What am I talking about? The laziness of Americans. What has happened to us when we cannot find our clothes to go out in and we just figure our pajamas are okay to shop in? Not just the pajama bottoms...but slippers too! Don't get me started on all of the HUGE women who wear NO bra. I'm no small chick myself and I've been known to but on sweats and a huge sweatshirt to drive my daughter home or to work, where I'm not getting out of the car. Kmae, if you've done this, you are forgiven! LOL
I suppose it's the "trashy" side of people now, but I've really noticed ALOT of things going down hill with our society.
What happened to common sense? It has really died a horrible death. Tragic. You see it in customer service people, fast food places, retail...it's everywhere. People are not held accountable for the job they do every day. This is an excuse-laden society. We've gotten too good at the excuses.
People talk about the economy being bad. Yah it's hard. Yah it's tough but what happened to taking some pride in yourself and being an example to those who follow us?
I know I'm going to do better just in case someone cares.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
A New Day
Here is the day I wondered would ever come. Brittany now is living in her own apartment. She has a pretty decent place. I had to pay the deposit on it and God I hope she can swing it. It is kind of fun getting her set up with stuff. Luckily, I'd been saving things for her.
I've been doing nothing but working lately, but I have started writing my next book and I am excited about that. My mind is spinning with ideas and storylines. I talk it through with Cindy, though she doesn't like fiction. I find that so strange! I let my mom read my first book and she loved it, saying she was impressed that I wrote it. As time goes on, I am still amazed at how things have turned around with my mom. After nearly 20 years, we are having the relationship I always dreamed of having. She called me on her birthday and said "I love you" before she hung up. I was so stunned...hearing those words from her mouth...I know I never thought it would be like this. She calls me quite frequently and we write almost every week, send cards to each other. I am so grateful for whatever stars aligned themselves to allow this to happen...especially at this time in my life. There is alot I don't understand about what led up to this point...like why didn't she fight harder to find out the truth? But...I accept things as they are and that makes me appreciate the time we have.
If anyone wants to see a good movie, see BONNEVILLE. yah it's a chick movie...but I'm a chick!
One of my clients, Khyla, lent me the dvd "The family that Preys"....a Tyler Perry movie that he's actually in and damn was it good! I was surprised. Khyla is black and all her movies are black actors lol I am glad that Sean Penn won for MILK, though I've not seen it. I loved his acceptance speech at the Oscars. I've always believed he should have won for I AM SAM. I adore that movie but it tears me up so much, I cannot watch it anymore!
Cindy tells me we are going to remodel the kitchen and bathroom. What fun! LOL
Bring on the SPRING!
I can't wait to be out in the back yard!!
I've been doing nothing but working lately, but I have started writing my next book and I am excited about that. My mind is spinning with ideas and storylines. I talk it through with Cindy, though she doesn't like fiction. I find that so strange! I let my mom read my first book and she loved it, saying she was impressed that I wrote it. As time goes on, I am still amazed at how things have turned around with my mom. After nearly 20 years, we are having the relationship I always dreamed of having. She called me on her birthday and said "I love you" before she hung up. I was so stunned...hearing those words from her mouth...I know I never thought it would be like this. She calls me quite frequently and we write almost every week, send cards to each other. I am so grateful for whatever stars aligned themselves to allow this to happen...especially at this time in my life. There is alot I don't understand about what led up to this point...like why didn't she fight harder to find out the truth? But...I accept things as they are and that makes me appreciate the time we have.
If anyone wants to see a good movie, see BONNEVILLE. yah it's a chick movie...but I'm a chick!
One of my clients, Khyla, lent me the dvd "The family that Preys"....a Tyler Perry movie that he's actually in and damn was it good! I was surprised. Khyla is black and all her movies are black actors lol I am glad that Sean Penn won for MILK, though I've not seen it. I loved his acceptance speech at the Oscars. I've always believed he should have won for I AM SAM. I adore that movie but it tears me up so much, I cannot watch it anymore!
Cindy tells me we are going to remodel the kitchen and bathroom. What fun! LOL
Bring on the SPRING!
I can't wait to be out in the back yard!!
Saturday, January 24, 2009
It's a Weird Life
What is it with kids growing up? I question myself helping Brittany the way I am. She got herself into her own mess, I keep telling her that. I have not allowed her back home and besides, she would lose her medical and such. There is nowhere for her to go. Last night she spent her entire paycheck on a motel room for the week. And again, she is depending on me to figure this out for her. Granted, I know a little more about what's around, but I don't know what to do either. She only has a part time job. I feel so at odds and I just wish there was something to help her. I guess I have to do what I'm doing and keep trying to find a solution. If she were like other 20yr olds, it would be different, she might be able to get a better job.
One day it will come together
One day it will come together
Monday, January 19, 2009
Just a Quickie
I am back by popular demand! As you can see, there is a new addition: BellaMae.
She was Cindy's idea, even though it was my turn to have a cat...my girl cut ahead in line and took an extra turn! What can I do? She's so cute, I can't resist! I mean my girl, not BellaMae! I will be glad when she gets fixed, so Odie won't be attacking her from behind trying to get his groove on. She is 4 years old and we are trying to housebreak her as she was always in a kennel used for breeding purposes. Oh the joy!
As far as Brittany is concerned...Last Friday, I paid for a motel room for her. Just one week, then she has figure it out for herself. It is the hardest thing. I don't want to think about her on the street, but she has to learn the nature of consequences for her actions and the decisions she makes. Interesting that my mom called me tonight. I am always grateful for a second chance at this relationship, it means so much. She says, "you don't think I worried about you? Every day." I told her at times I thought maybe she didn't, but now that I am going through this, I understand why she did what she did. She told me "It was the hardest thing I've ever done or ever will do in my entire life. But I knew I had to." I know that is what drove me even harder to depend on myself. It's a good lesson that Brittany needs to learn. Brittany is mad right now because she wants to do laundry here and we are having plumbing issues. She does not care and does not want to spend her cash on the coin washer/dryer at the motel. AHEM Cash which I gave her, by the way! We shall see what happens...but I have to stick to my guns, I know that.
There is a reason they call it tough love.
It ain't for sissies.
She was Cindy's idea, even though it was my turn to have a cat...my girl cut ahead in line and took an extra turn! What can I do? She's so cute, I can't resist! I mean my girl, not BellaMae! I will be glad when she gets fixed, so Odie won't be attacking her from behind trying to get his groove on. She is 4 years old and we are trying to housebreak her as she was always in a kennel used for breeding purposes. Oh the joy!
As far as Brittany is concerned...Last Friday, I paid for a motel room for her. Just one week, then she has figure it out for herself. It is the hardest thing. I don't want to think about her on the street, but she has to learn the nature of consequences for her actions and the decisions she makes. Interesting that my mom called me tonight. I am always grateful for a second chance at this relationship, it means so much. She says, "you don't think I worried about you? Every day." I told her at times I thought maybe she didn't, but now that I am going through this, I understand why she did what she did. She told me "It was the hardest thing I've ever done or ever will do in my entire life. But I knew I had to." I know that is what drove me even harder to depend on myself. It's a good lesson that Brittany needs to learn. Brittany is mad right now because she wants to do laundry here and we are having plumbing issues. She does not care and does not want to spend her cash on the coin washer/dryer at the motel. AHEM Cash which I gave her, by the way! We shall see what happens...but I have to stick to my guns, I know that.
There is a reason they call it tough love.
It ain't for sissies.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Drama Queen...
...Feel the beat from my sanity that I've never seen.
Well, it happened. I knew it would. Brittany called today telling me...(can we all say it together?) "they kicked me out and I have nowhere to go."
Of course, I reminded her of what I told her when she left. I was not letting her come back. Now Cindy did not have the faith that I would stick to it...she was sure I would buckle under the pressure. I stuck to my guns, but god did it rip my heart out. I told her I would not let her come back, but I would help her find a place. I suggested a motel room to rent for the week. I would help her help herself. I can't just say no and do nothing. She felt better as I suggested to COMMUNICATE and talk to the lady where she was living, explain that she didn't have a place to stay and could she stay for another week. So she did and it worked. So Friday I am taking her to look for a place and help her as much as I can.
In the meantime...Cindy decided we needed another dog for Odie. She is a pure bred boston terrier. Cindy named her Bella Mae. She was a breeder dog. The first day, she took every one of Odie's toys and piled them up at the front door. She took over the house from Odie. Too funny. She wasn't taking any shit from a man. Cindy's mom bought Odie a stuffed Beaver (some fun lesbian jokes here!). I had to laugh as I said, "Well Bella is home. She is in the bedroom chewing on the beaver!" That's our girl!
Odie, who is fixed...has been trying to hump her(as she is not fixed yet, but early Feb), but she won't stand still long enough! You go grrl
Fun times
Well, it happened. I knew it would. Brittany called today telling me...(can we all say it together?) "they kicked me out and I have nowhere to go."
Of course, I reminded her of what I told her when she left. I was not letting her come back. Now Cindy did not have the faith that I would stick to it...she was sure I would buckle under the pressure. I stuck to my guns, but god did it rip my heart out. I told her I would not let her come back, but I would help her find a place. I suggested a motel room to rent for the week. I would help her help herself. I can't just say no and do nothing. She felt better as I suggested to COMMUNICATE and talk to the lady where she was living, explain that she didn't have a place to stay and could she stay for another week. So she did and it worked. So Friday I am taking her to look for a place and help her as much as I can.
In the meantime...Cindy decided we needed another dog for Odie. She is a pure bred boston terrier. Cindy named her Bella Mae. She was a breeder dog. The first day, she took every one of Odie's toys and piled them up at the front door. She took over the house from Odie. Too funny. She wasn't taking any shit from a man. Cindy's mom bought Odie a stuffed Beaver (some fun lesbian jokes here!). I had to laugh as I said, "Well Bella is home. She is in the bedroom chewing on the beaver!" That's our girl!
Odie, who is fixed...has been trying to hump her(as she is not fixed yet, but early Feb), but she won't stand still long enough! You go grrl
Fun times
Friday, January 09, 2009
Happy Flippin' New Year
Greetings!
It has been awhile since I've been here, but nonetheless, here I am. Am I ever so glad the holidays are over. I still don't understand why it gets so crazy and everyone is in HYPER mode, but what I don't know about things could fill the universe.
Brittany left New Year's Day. Yup, moved out after getting crazy hysterical mad about her cell phone not working. She did not care about anything else, yelling at both Cindy and I, screaming that she didn't care. Just plain disrespectful and rude. Then she yelled she was leaving and gave me her key. I told her we were not playing this game. So she left for work and never came back that night, though I left the door open just in case. She called the next day to say she was living with some people, "friends" as she calls them. I told her she was not coming back to live, that was it. Especially after Cindy and I turned our lives upside down back in October to allow her back in. She did not apologize but just said she was mad about her phone. The biggest thing that happened to make this all occur is that Cindy and I found the charm bracelet that my MOM had given her in the couch. Brittany lost it not long after my mom had given it to her and I had been looking for it. So I finally found it and Brittany was so mad about the phone she said "I DON"T CARE!" That's when Cindy lost it. So I am keeping it for her. The next day, Brittany asked for it back and I told her I would just keep it for her. "I was just mad." I told her that is no excuse for treating people like crap. There are consequences for your actions, the things you do and say.
I don't know if she will ever learn that.
Now she calls to tell me she has a 34 year old boyfriend, who is living with her with these "friends". It's an older couple and the boyfriend's mother and stepdad.
So now I have to let go and do that "tough love". It will be tough if she burns all of her bridges and has nowhere to go. But I have to.
I spent over an hour talking to my mom last night. If there is one event that made me grateful for 2008...it's my mom. It's sad that my grandmother had to die to make it happen, but considering the type of person she was and the damage she inflicted...it is peaceful she is gone.
Peace out
It has been awhile since I've been here, but nonetheless, here I am. Am I ever so glad the holidays are over. I still don't understand why it gets so crazy and everyone is in HYPER mode, but what I don't know about things could fill the universe.
Brittany left New Year's Day. Yup, moved out after getting crazy hysterical mad about her cell phone not working. She did not care about anything else, yelling at both Cindy and I, screaming that she didn't care. Just plain disrespectful and rude. Then she yelled she was leaving and gave me her key. I told her we were not playing this game. So she left for work and never came back that night, though I left the door open just in case. She called the next day to say she was living with some people, "friends" as she calls them. I told her she was not coming back to live, that was it. Especially after Cindy and I turned our lives upside down back in October to allow her back in. She did not apologize but just said she was mad about her phone. The biggest thing that happened to make this all occur is that Cindy and I found the charm bracelet that my MOM had given her in the couch. Brittany lost it not long after my mom had given it to her and I had been looking for it. So I finally found it and Brittany was so mad about the phone she said "I DON"T CARE!" That's when Cindy lost it. So I am keeping it for her. The next day, Brittany asked for it back and I told her I would just keep it for her. "I was just mad." I told her that is no excuse for treating people like crap. There are consequences for your actions, the things you do and say.
I don't know if she will ever learn that.
Now she calls to tell me she has a 34 year old boyfriend, who is living with her with these "friends". It's an older couple and the boyfriend's mother and stepdad.
So now I have to let go and do that "tough love". It will be tough if she burns all of her bridges and has nowhere to go. But I have to.
I spent over an hour talking to my mom last night. If there is one event that made me grateful for 2008...it's my mom. It's sad that my grandmother had to die to make it happen, but considering the type of person she was and the damage she inflicted...it is peaceful she is gone.
Peace out
Saturday, November 29, 2008
The Best Holiday Treat
I still wonder if I am dreaming or I am some old Twilight Zone episode...
Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving, Brittany and I drove to see my mother. We were meeting at a mexican restaurant. My mom didn't know for sure Brittany was able to come, so it was an exciting moment when my mom walked in. We stood side by side and she grinned, "she looks just like you!" Brittany went to shake her hand and my mom said, "how about a hug!?" So they hugged and all I could do was smile and I about cried! So there we were, 3 generations. It was awesome, no matter what's happened before. We talked about so many things that suddenly almost 2 hours had gone by. She also gave me some old pictures of me as a child and they were funny to look through. We also talked about the goofy things I did, getting myself in trouble as a child. Brittany got a big kick out of that! I could have never dreamed things could go so well. We agreed that no more time should go by and I think we are grateful for the way things have happened. It feels so good and for the first time in twenty years, I feel complete having both my parents. This is the first holiday I've been able to see both of them and it's hard to describe how good it feels.
Brittany really likes her and I think it feels strange to her having another grandma. I think my mom really wanted to have this happen long ago and she, too, has missed out.
It just goes to show you never know how things will come to be. I am so thankful for it all.
Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving, Brittany and I drove to see my mother. We were meeting at a mexican restaurant. My mom didn't know for sure Brittany was able to come, so it was an exciting moment when my mom walked in. We stood side by side and she grinned, "she looks just like you!" Brittany went to shake her hand and my mom said, "how about a hug!?" So they hugged and all I could do was smile and I about cried! So there we were, 3 generations. It was awesome, no matter what's happened before. We talked about so many things that suddenly almost 2 hours had gone by. She also gave me some old pictures of me as a child and they were funny to look through. We also talked about the goofy things I did, getting myself in trouble as a child. Brittany got a big kick out of that! I could have never dreamed things could go so well. We agreed that no more time should go by and I think we are grateful for the way things have happened. It feels so good and for the first time in twenty years, I feel complete having both my parents. This is the first holiday I've been able to see both of them and it's hard to describe how good it feels.
Brittany really likes her and I think it feels strange to her having another grandma. I think my mom really wanted to have this happen long ago and she, too, has missed out.
It just goes to show you never know how things will come to be. I am so thankful for it all.
Sunday, November 09, 2008
The WOW Factor
It has been a WOW kind of year. It is beyond words...the good, the bad and the ugly.
Things still get better with my mom...those words alone I never thought I would put together into a sentence. We exchange cards and letters almost every week. She sends me things in the mail. It is apparent to me that she has really missed me over the years and was wanting this relationship. I still sit in amazement that it is going in this direction. My boss said something to me and I think it might be true. "Because you are standing by Brittany...she won't have that WOW factor."
I've also put in for a new job and I am hopeful. It's another $1/hr and the hours are better and it's more supervisory. I worked with one of my clients, Khyla, yesterday for my 2nd job that's called CDAC(consumer directed assistant care) where I do things around the house and with her that she is not capable of or needs help with(shopping, hygiene, chores around the house). I make over $11/hr doing that so anytime I can do it, I will. I have so much respect for Khyla's mom, as she is outspoken and does whatever she has to for her daughter. I think that is why we click so well. Khyla is a bit lower functioning but she is capable of so much, if she has the right motivation and guidance. I have been accused of expecting too much from my clients. I think we should all expect more and be challenged everyday. Alot of my clients were not challenged and other workers have said "well they've always been that way and there is nothing you can do about it." I beg to differ. Khyla's mom told me, "I want her challenged everyday to think for herself and do for herself, as much as she can." Khyla's mom has told me that since I've been working with Khyla, she is doing more and thinking more about what she should be doing, when I am not around. She told me, "she never ever did that before." So I can feel good about that.
I had a great conversation with Khyla's mom yesterday about Obama. Khyla and her family are black and I only mention this because of our conversation. I said "Isn't it great that he won?"
She says, "Yes I am glad he won, but more than that, I just fell in love with the MAN and I really don't care that he's black. If you are a good decent person, I don't care what color you are. And now people are saying that it's such an accomplishment because he's part white too. What the hell? Why does that make it an accomplishment? Big deal. For me, it's more about the man."
For me, that says it all.
I just hope he's for real.
IOWA even voted OBAMA....Iowa is always a republican state...that says alot right there.
That's my WOW factor for today.
Things still get better with my mom...those words alone I never thought I would put together into a sentence. We exchange cards and letters almost every week. She sends me things in the mail. It is apparent to me that she has really missed me over the years and was wanting this relationship. I still sit in amazement that it is going in this direction. My boss said something to me and I think it might be true. "Because you are standing by Brittany...she won't have that WOW factor."
I've also put in for a new job and I am hopeful. It's another $1/hr and the hours are better and it's more supervisory. I worked with one of my clients, Khyla, yesterday for my 2nd job that's called CDAC(consumer directed assistant care) where I do things around the house and with her that she is not capable of or needs help with(shopping, hygiene, chores around the house). I make over $11/hr doing that so anytime I can do it, I will. I have so much respect for Khyla's mom, as she is outspoken and does whatever she has to for her daughter. I think that is why we click so well. Khyla is a bit lower functioning but she is capable of so much, if she has the right motivation and guidance. I have been accused of expecting too much from my clients. I think we should all expect more and be challenged everyday. Alot of my clients were not challenged and other workers have said "well they've always been that way and there is nothing you can do about it." I beg to differ. Khyla's mom told me, "I want her challenged everyday to think for herself and do for herself, as much as she can." Khyla's mom has told me that since I've been working with Khyla, she is doing more and thinking more about what she should be doing, when I am not around. She told me, "she never ever did that before." So I can feel good about that.
I had a great conversation with Khyla's mom yesterday about Obama. Khyla and her family are black and I only mention this because of our conversation. I said "Isn't it great that he won?"
She says, "Yes I am glad he won, but more than that, I just fell in love with the MAN and I really don't care that he's black. If you are a good decent person, I don't care what color you are. And now people are saying that it's such an accomplishment because he's part white too. What the hell? Why does that make it an accomplishment? Big deal. For me, it's more about the man."
For me, that says it all.
I just hope he's for real.
IOWA even voted OBAMA....Iowa is always a republican state...that says alot right there.
That's my WOW factor for today.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Revelation Day
Here I sit, still in amazement that events have happened the way they have. Yesterday was a definite lesson in how important it is not to let time slip away.
Yesterday was the day my mother and Brittany were to meet for the first time. Brittany has a job now (YAY) so she had to work. I decided to go anyway, hoping this would give an opportunity for my mom and I to really talk. And did we ever. We spent 3 hours talking and sharing a meal, even had pie. Through all of our talking we discovered that my grandmother spent much of her time alive destroying our relationship and making sure we never spoke. My grandmother said awful hurtful things to my mother and told her flat out lies about me over the years, such as Brittany had AIDS and that was why she had so many problems and I graduated from college with a degree in Bowling which welfare paid for. I told my mother that just showed what she didn't know about AIDS since Brittany's problems are mental. The big one though was that I told her that my stepfather beat me and my brother and my mother too. When I was in high school, my grandmother got drunk and asked me if he ever "touched" me. I remember being shocked by the question and I said "no, of course not!" But she went on for years telling my mother all about being with a child abuser. So it's no wonder he doesn't want to see me. Hopefully that will change now, because he's really a good guy, especially to have to put up with all the bullshit.
My mother also bought a bracelet for Brittany and a journal book for Cindy. I think she loves Cindy which is something I never expected with the whole gay thing. I guess I am surprised she's so at ease with me being gay. She asked me questions and I answered them and it was so nice.
It's a lesson in communication and the lack thereof.
And guess who's moved back in? Yup. Brittany. I feel awful, but the kid didn't have anywhere to go because her latest roommates got drunk (even the 15yr old) and kicked her out. They even stole from her, what little she had. The people she originally moved in with didn't have the room any longer, so Brittany was crying and telling me she didn't have anywhere else to go. What could I do? Cindy is not happy about it, for sure, but there will be stipulations and conditions. At least she has a job. That is something anyway and I am going to help her get an apartment...like low income housing or something.
So all of this in one day.
I hope today is peaceful!
Yesterday was the day my mother and Brittany were to meet for the first time. Brittany has a job now (YAY) so she had to work. I decided to go anyway, hoping this would give an opportunity for my mom and I to really talk. And did we ever. We spent 3 hours talking and sharing a meal, even had pie. Through all of our talking we discovered that my grandmother spent much of her time alive destroying our relationship and making sure we never spoke. My grandmother said awful hurtful things to my mother and told her flat out lies about me over the years, such as Brittany had AIDS and that was why she had so many problems and I graduated from college with a degree in Bowling which welfare paid for. I told my mother that just showed what she didn't know about AIDS since Brittany's problems are mental. The big one though was that I told her that my stepfather beat me and my brother and my mother too. When I was in high school, my grandmother got drunk and asked me if he ever "touched" me. I remember being shocked by the question and I said "no, of course not!" But she went on for years telling my mother all about being with a child abuser. So it's no wonder he doesn't want to see me. Hopefully that will change now, because he's really a good guy, especially to have to put up with all the bullshit.
My mother also bought a bracelet for Brittany and a journal book for Cindy. I think she loves Cindy which is something I never expected with the whole gay thing. I guess I am surprised she's so at ease with me being gay. She asked me questions and I answered them and it was so nice.
It's a lesson in communication and the lack thereof.
And guess who's moved back in? Yup. Brittany. I feel awful, but the kid didn't have anywhere to go because her latest roommates got drunk (even the 15yr old) and kicked her out. They even stole from her, what little she had. The people she originally moved in with didn't have the room any longer, so Brittany was crying and telling me she didn't have anywhere else to go. What could I do? Cindy is not happy about it, for sure, but there will be stipulations and conditions. At least she has a job. That is something anyway and I am going to help her get an apartment...like low income housing or something.
So all of this in one day.
I hope today is peaceful!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Just When I Thought I Could Breathe...
Posting twice in one weekend.....I must be mad. Actually I'm sort of beyond that now, but damned if I am not learning another one of life's lovely(sarcasm) lessons.
Brittany called me(what else?) and asked if I had boxes....as IF I didn't figure out what she wanted them for. Maybe I should be grateful she didn't ask to come back, but I know that wouldn't happen. I think, "okay, I'll bite." I ask her why and she tells me she is moving. I ask "where?" She tells me she is moving in with a boyfriend. I said "WHAT?" It's this same damn kid that's 15 and lives with his mom. I do not know if that is where she is moving or he is getting an apartment. Brittany has broken up with this kid at least 4 times and the last I knew she wasn't with anyone. I say this to her and she says, "I wasn't, til last night." Great.
Then she asks me, "What are you getting so mad about?"
Gee, I don't know. Maybe it's watching my disabled daughter make decisions that will only cause more trouble. Hmmm no that couldn't be it.
I guess I am grateful she is on birth control. I don't know if things have gotten bad with these people she's been living with and she has to have a place to go. I ask her, "how are you going to support yourself and make a living?"
"I don't know. I'll think of something."
This is hard to watch. I know there is not a thing I can do and I remember myself at that age thinking, "oh I'll think about it later." Now it just creeps me out. But Brittany is not like other kids her age making bad decisions. I think that I could deal with that a little better. Knowing how she comes to make these decisions drives me crazy. Brittany just wants to bounce from home to home...any place where she has no rules. Then I think...why would she have rules...she's an adult right? That's what everyone else thinks, but I know in her mind she is in no way an adult.
Where's my rum?
Brittany called me(what else?) and asked if I had boxes....as IF I didn't figure out what she wanted them for. Maybe I should be grateful she didn't ask to come back, but I know that wouldn't happen. I think, "okay, I'll bite." I ask her why and she tells me she is moving. I ask "where?" She tells me she is moving in with a boyfriend. I said "WHAT?" It's this same damn kid that's 15 and lives with his mom. I do not know if that is where she is moving or he is getting an apartment. Brittany has broken up with this kid at least 4 times and the last I knew she wasn't with anyone. I say this to her and she says, "I wasn't, til last night." Great.
Then she asks me, "What are you getting so mad about?"
Gee, I don't know. Maybe it's watching my disabled daughter make decisions that will only cause more trouble. Hmmm no that couldn't be it.
I guess I am grateful she is on birth control. I don't know if things have gotten bad with these people she's been living with and she has to have a place to go. I ask her, "how are you going to support yourself and make a living?"
"I don't know. I'll think of something."
This is hard to watch. I know there is not a thing I can do and I remember myself at that age thinking, "oh I'll think about it later." Now it just creeps me out. But Brittany is not like other kids her age making bad decisions. I think that I could deal with that a little better. Knowing how she comes to make these decisions drives me crazy. Brittany just wants to bounce from home to home...any place where she has no rules. Then I think...why would she have rules...she's an adult right? That's what everyone else thinks, but I know in her mind she is in no way an adult.
Where's my rum?
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