Formula 44

Well...May 24th I turned 44 years old. I'm taking a hint from my twin KMAE and decided to talk about the blessings and struggles I've endured. Not a long essay, although I could easily slip into something wordy, but listing the good and the bad and lord knows we cannot forget, the ugly.

Living through parents divorce

THE 70s (wish I was older!)

Going to FRANCE in high school

Going to Washington D.C. in 8th grade

Learning to cook with Mom

Making Breakfast for my dad

Graduation (high school)...finding out my dad was there watching all along

Birth of my daughter

Being shut out by my mother

Meeting and falling in love with a woman, Teri

Experiencing the downfall of love and mental illness

COMING OUT

TO ALL THE GIRLS I"VE LOVED BEFORE....and all the men I didn't

Graduation from COLLEGE

First time I worked with developmentally disabled adults....and made a breakthrough

Coming out of my shell

Living Loving and Learning

Are women really THAT psychotic?

Sending my daughter to foster parents....most devastating, but somehow liberating

Writing my first novel and losing myself

Loving an alcoholic....and leaving

New friends...

Moving to Wyoming

Moving to Cheyenne...new friends and FRESH AIR

Crazy world of Sue

Moving back home with Grandma

TALKING ONLINE WITH CINDY....yummO!

MEETING CINDY!!!!! DELISH!

Is it Cindy or stay with Grandma?

IT'S CINDY!

Experiencing REAL love and foreverness with the girl of my dreams

My dad asking for a hug from my girlfriend!

Brittany showing up on my doorstep

Brittany's GRADUATION

OIL and WATER don't mix, they fester

Grandma June passed

My mother came alive again

Mom hugging my girlfriend

Mom meeting Brittany

Mom giving me money for my birthday and saying "I LOVE YOU"

Being in love for 4 1/2 years and never once questioning what's been given to me......

I've learned lessons and understood it's really true..."that which does not kill us makes us stronger"

I've walked the rocky path, tripped and fallen, thinking the walk just wasn't worth it...but now I can see why I fell.

Life.
Bring it on

Happy Mother's Day

And is it ever an interesting one! It's been about a year now since I've been in communication with my mom. It just keeps getting better and I guess a part of me is still baffled by it all.

Cindy and Brittany and I went on Wednesday to have lunch with her. We were passing through town on our way to see my Dad to return extra flooring from the remodel. It was amazing and fun. I could spend all day trying to catch up with her...it was 20 years after all. She gave me $100 for my birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US ON MAY 24th KMAE) for a bread machine! I'm sure I got my love of cooking from my mother. Inside the card for my birthday, she wrote,, "my heart is always with you."
I still have not spoken to my stepfather...apparently he is not ready yet. I do not even know why for sure. My mother always meets me somewhere and I am hopeful one day we will talk and we can have regular visits at the house. I did some bad things when I was younger but probably not what he thinks I've done. Mostly I lied....I've admitted those things to my mother. I think those were the reasons she did what she did...it's just that my grandmother perpetuated things. I told her it was awful that we didn't fight harder to find out the truth long ago.

But we are where we are...a place I never expected to be, but on this Mother's Day, I am forever grateful I didn't give up.